Accepting weakness begets strength.
I began my day depressed and anxious and exhausted as soon as i woke up.
I didn’t want to go to group therapy– i just wanted to wallow in frustration and go back to sleep.
But i recognized my responsibility to myself and my mental health.
I can’t force my emotions to change by the snap of my fingers or a fake smile…
…so i decided to embrace my darker feelings and allow myself to feel however i do throughout the day…
…while still adhering to my responsibilities to my well-being. (Including taking a PRN anxiety medication to help me better manage my stress..)
You can even see it in my outfit!
Especially my earrings…
I am queen of my darkness, and equally queen of my light.
I can own my struggles, i can own my pains, i can own those emotions that feel so very close to death.
They are mine, but i am not theirs.
I can relax in who i am, moment to moment, and see beauty even in the dark and quiet.
I aimed only to allow myself to feel, even if the feelings are dark.
I expected myself to be tired and mostly disengaged at group, but present.
….But, you know the funny thing?
I got to group,
I saw the beauty in the people around me, in spite of their traumas, weaknesses, doubts, pains, and very present darknesses.
So much beauty. So much pain. But so much hope, just barely in sight, for each of us.
The beauty of their stories and their vulnerabilities brought about connection and reassurance.
I became so glad i came to the group.
My own darknesses faded to the background,
–Still there, but as a dark canvas, ready to contrast with an image of bright, brilliant colors–
Replaced by a HAPPY, bubbly, talkative, supportive version of myself that i’ve only rarely gotten to experience.
I’m learning to love that girl– That happy-go-lucky but insightful version of me.
…as i’m also learning to love that broken, righteously angry, introspective, and compassionate me.
She is one and the same.
Beautiful and whole.
Strong through weakness.
Compassionate through pain.
Read More of Alissa’s Style Journey:
Bandaids on a Heart Torn Out of My Chest – An Outfit Representing Romantic Insecurities and Healing
Poem written on November 27, 2022. Outfit worn on January 11, 2023.Disclaimer: The following poem as a whole does not represent my current relationships or their quality. It simply reflects my fears. Polyamory has been a wonderful, though challenging, adventure full...
“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability
For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.
There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.
Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.
It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.
But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?
Long Question – An Outfit Representing the Painful Beauty of Heartache
Have you ever felt heartache so strong, so beautiful, so wonderfully painful;
…one that makes you sigh with relief, contemplating that you’ve lived and loved to the fullest you could possibly imagine…?
So insightful! We all have weaknesses and it’s great to learn from them and move on with out lives.
Thank you! Very important truth…
Thank you! Definitely true… The moving on part is easier with acceptance, but never truly easy…
This was so uplifting to me. I will learn to accept my weakness.
I’m so glad, Tara! One moment at a time… I’ve realized it takes accepting over and over again, giving yourself tons of grace every time you feel like being hard on yourself..
I have long thought that my weaknesses, or what others perceive to be weaknesses are my strength. Kindness, compassion and the ability to forgive easy. People think those things make me weak, but I feel strong.
I love this!! Those are definitely strengths…. strengths that may put you in a vulnerable place–but that truly requires even more strength to be in that place!
I am of the opinion that accepting your weaknesses is the first step in making them your strength. Focus on those aspects and bring out the best in yourself!
Absolutely true! ✨