Accepting weakness begets strength.

I began my day depressed and anxious and exhausted as soon as i woke up.

I didn’t want to go to group therapy– i just wanted to wallow in frustration and go back to sleep.

But i recognized my responsibility to myself and my mental health.

I can’t force my emotions to change by the snap of my fingers or a fake smile…

…so i decided to embrace my darker feelings and allow myself to feel however i do throughout the day…

…while still adhering to my responsibilities to my well-being. (Including taking a PRN anxiety medication to help me better manage my stress..)

You can even see it in my outfit!

Especially my earrings…

I am queen of my darkness, and equally queen of my light.

I can own my struggles, i can own my pains, i can own those emotions that feel so very close to death.

They are mine, but i am not theirs.

I can relax in who i am, moment to moment, and see beauty even in the dark and quiet.

I aimed only to allow myself to feel, even if the feelings are dark.

I expected myself to be tired and mostly disengaged at group, but present.

….But, you know the funny thing?

I got to group,

I saw the beauty in the people around me, in spite of their traumas, weaknesses, doubts, pains, and very present darknesses.

So much beauty. So much pain. But so much hope, just barely in sight, for each of us.

The beauty of their stories and their vulnerabilities brought about connection and reassurance.

I became so glad i came to the group.

My own darknesses faded to the background,

–Still there, but as a dark canvas, ready to contrast with an image of bright, brilliant colors–

Replaced by a HAPPY, bubbly, talkative, supportive version of myself that i’ve only rarely gotten to experience.

I’m learning to love that girl– That happy-go-lucky but insightful version of me.

…as i’m also learning to love that broken, righteously angry, introspective, and compassionate me.

She is one and the same.

Beautiful and whole.

Strong through weakness.

Compassionate through pain.

Read More of Alissa’s Style Journey:

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

More Mental Health Blog Posts:

Connecting With Emotion

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

Confidence and Self Love – Encouragement From Imaan at The August Clause

Confidence is an interesting thing, isn’t it? Some seem to shine with it, and with ease. Others feel they’ll never find it. But really, all of us deal with a lack of it from time to time. It comes and goes. We can be so hard on ourselves, and that attitude of shame then easily permeates the rest of our lives. We need to learn to love ourselves. And love is a continuous action…so sometimes we have to learn again and again.

Sketches of Anxiousness – My Anxiety-Inspired Fashion Collection

I felt inspired to bring how i was feeling onto paper in the form of conceptual fashion sketches.

I thought i’d share them with you for two reasons:
1. To give hope that you’re not alone and that others understand what you’re going through.

2. To shed light on what mental health issues feel like–anxiety in particular–and hopefully bring in some more understanding and sympathy.

6 Ways Exploring Your Personal Fashion Style Encourages Self-Discovery

Fashion can be used as a powerful tool for self-discovery! Here are six big ways your personal style can shead light on who you are on the inside.

Color Psychology Questionnaire

Many people have spoken on this topic, and i will do my best to compile the best and most applicable research i can find. But, especially because written knowledge on this topic is so saturated, and can be very opinionated because of personal and cultural differences, i don’t want to begin with simply passing on information. To me, it matters more that this is a discovery process for each of us…How do we as individuals perceive each color? How do they make you feel? Live data is so much more fun and personal! It will help me to create more relatable posts for you.

Fashion + Self Love Party: For the Love of the Gram – A Short Guide for Increasing Self-Love Despite Social Media Influence

Guest post by Savana from Official Savana Rae.
Instagram has so much interesting content and impressive content creators. However, the bar is set very high. When the bar is set as high as it is, growing may become an issue. It mainly drives attention to the biggest accounts–which undermines the rest no matter how good your content may be.

I have noticed that a lot of people have been affected by this, and a big loss in confidence has increased in my fellow influencers and those who follow me.

I want to give you some self-love advice that I myself follow when I feel low, because let’s face it–we all have THOSE days.

This guide to increase self-love is one that I find incredibly useful, as my mom reminds most days that we all need to love ourselves first so that we can be at peace. Think about it this way, if you didn’t love yourself, how can you feel at peace?

Fashion + Self Love Party: What to Wear When Your Heart’s Been Broken

Finding Comfort in Your Clothes After Heartbreak:
Guest post by Josie Mills from Open Mind Fashion (OMF).
I kissed a few frogs on the path to meeting my prince, my husband. And along the way, some left me green and croaking for a while. In those tough times, I would become even more aware of the textures & qualities of my clothes–my clothes became a form of solace, and dressing up would help me get through the next day even though I wanted to die.

Serenity -Outfit Styling Based on Desirable Qualities

An outfit styling based on the kind of person i want to be and qualities i hope to grow in this season of my life. Serenity, gentleness…Peace with myself and the world around me. Remembering my own past, but not letting it be the main thing to shape me. Allowing myself to grow, but not being angry about where i am at.
Loosely inspired by traditional Japanese style and ideals.

Fashion + Self Love Party: Love Your Style, Love Yourself

Guest post by Alice from A Lot on Your Mind.
Two psychologists, Hajo and Galinksy (2012), coined the term ‘enclothed cognition’ which argues that your style reflects and affects your mood, health, and overall confidence. If our clothes affect our mood, why don’t we choose the clothes that express our best selves and will make us feel legitimately beautiful?
Here are some tips to owning your personal style:

7 Mistakes That Kill Your Outfit

Picture yourself:
Pulling one piece of clothing out of your closet after another, glancing at each one before frustratedly throwing each one to the side with a huff of disappointment. After nearly pulling your hair out in frustration, you’ve finally settled on what to wear. You’re ready to face the world… Or are you? 

In this post, you will find seven things that will ruin your outfit… A forewarning that can give you direction away from what not to do.

More Fashion-Philosophy:

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Fashion Blunders Edition

Never Have I Ever – Fashion Blunders Edition!
We’re about to get REAL…

The most honest people win!
1 point for everything you HAVE done.
Share: How many points did you get?
Which one do you think is the hardest to overcome?

8 Elements of Character Costume Design

Whether it’s for Halloween, Disney-bounding on vacation, or just for the fun of putting together an outfit that’s inspired by a favorite movie, TV, video game, or book character–I think we all enjoy getting into somebody else’s shoes every once in a while.

This post will be looking not only at how to get the aesthetics right, but also at how to use character traits and storyline for inspiration, so we can get to the heart of the character we are portraying.

So, here are 8 aspects of costume and character design to consider before creating your character-based outfit:

Color Psychology Questionnaire

Many people have spoken on this topic, and i will do my best to compile the best and most applicable research i can find. But, especially because written knowledge on this topic is so saturated, and can be very opinionated because of personal and cultural differences, i don’t want to begin with simply passing on information. To me, it matters more that this is a discovery process for each of us…How do we as individuals perceive each color? How do they make you feel? Live data is so much more fun and personal! It will help me to create more relatable posts for you.

Guest Post: Gender Neutral Clothing and Gender Fluidity

Guest post by Kelsey Davis from The Lux Authority:
Everyone claims their own unique style, but only some have been able to do so without the fear of ridicule. Gender neutrality is not something new, but the specialized clothing is and will undoubtedly continue to succeed, shape lives, and overturn viscous stigmas.

Warm Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

How to Dress Like Ariel

Want to dress like Ariel? Here’s how to analyze Ariel from The Little Mermaid so you can create a costume or outfit inspired by her.

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Self-Care Edition

Never Have i Ever – Self-Care Edition.

1 point for everything you HAVE done!
Have you made good progress in taking better care of yourself?
Share: How many points did you get??
What are you missing?…Which one will you work on today?

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 2

Starting your day off with one little thing that oozes confidence can go a long way in positively impacting your day–i think that’s why dressing up is helping me so far…plus, by dressing up, you’re carrying that confidence right over your skin….it’s close and touchable, and therefore easier to remember. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s a little easier to feel comfortable with your mind and your soul.

Connecting With Emotion

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

Getting Back Into A Confident, Healthy Flow in 2021 and 2022

After almost two years of pandemic craziness, if you’re ready to get back out there and live your life, you need to do it with confidence. And to do that, you need to take steps to improve your health, wellbeing, and overall quality of life. Lawrence Mager and Story Behind The Cloth have listed some simple tips for how you can do just that:

Styles You’ll Enjoy If You Liked This Outfit:

I Feared Waking Up

Through the entirety of almost 5 years together, every time i looked at him or heard him laugh, i felt like i was dreaming. My fear was waking up, not breaking up.

#QuaintBehindTheCloth Style Challenge 2022 – Vote for Your Favorites!

View and vote for your favorite enteries to the #QuaintBehindTheCloth outfit designing challenge! Who do you think will win?

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 7

I challenged myself at the beginning of this week to stop being lazy about my outfits just because i have nowhere to go, and instead start getting dressed up in clothes that make me feel good about myself that day.

I was surprised just how much more empowered i’ve been feeling with this simple task. By putting on clothes i love, and doing so for no apparent reason besides deciding i want to, i’ve also been putting on confidence.

What do you think? Will you try getting #AllDressedUp this week and see what it does for you?

Winner of #QuaintBehindTheCloth Challenge 2022

You voted for your favorite Quaint outfits…See who won!

Quaint Fashion Deals: Deep Discounts on Mori Kei and Cabincore Style Clothing

Quaint Style is charming, peaceful, sweet, and independent. Based off Mori-Kei and Cabincore/Cottagecore, It’s quirky but cozy…fit for a princess who’s grown accustomed to being lost in the woods.

Enjoy these quaint products at sales prices over 40% off while you can!

I regularly curate this page, so come back again to browse more newly discounted products in a few weeks.

Bandaids on a Heart Torn Out of My Chest – An Outfit Representing Romantic Insecurities and Healing

Poem written on November 27, 2022. Outfit worn on January 11, 2023.Disclaimer: The following poem as a whole does not represent my current relationships or their quality. It simply reflects my fears. Polyamory has been a wonderful, though challenging, adventure full...

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 5

The day didn’t start out fantastic, but…I’m going to be fair to myself, with a focus on self-care and making sure i’m comfortable–first and foremost–while still pushing myself to do all that is necessary so that i feel accomplished at the end of the day.

So i’ll start off with comfy clothes and accepting that this post is being published later than the other ones were.

Dead Tired

I've been chronically exhausted since i was, like, 8 years old. I don't know why, but hopefully will soon. I'm finally getting it addressed with doctors... My psychiatrist gave me a cortisol test kit to see if i have adrenal fatigue and my primary physician referred...

Pages – An Outfit Representing a New Chapter of Life

Life is a story… That we get to take part in both reading and writing!
We get to create who we want to be.
We get to watch life unfold.
Let’s enjoy every page!
What do you hope to “write” in this next chapter of your life?

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