Accepting weakness begets strength.

I began my day depressed and anxious and exhausted as soon as i woke up.

I didn’t want to go to group therapy– i just wanted to wallow in frustration and go back to sleep.

But i recognized my responsibility to myself and my mental health.

I can’t force my emotions to change by the snap of my fingers or a fake smile…

…so i decided to embrace my darker feelings and allow myself to feel however i do throughout the day…

…while still adhering to my responsibilities to my well-being. (Including taking a PRN anxiety medication to help me better manage my stress..)

You can even see it in my outfit!

Especially my earrings…

I am queen of my darkness, and equally queen of my light.

I can own my struggles, i can own my pains, i can own those emotions that feel so very close to death.

They are mine, but i am not theirs.

I can relax in who i am, moment to moment, and see beauty even in the dark and quiet.

I aimed only to allow myself to feel, even if the feelings are dark.

I expected myself to be tired and mostly disengaged at group, but present.

….But, you know the funny thing?

I got to group,

I saw the beauty in the people around me, in spite of their traumas, weaknesses, doubts, pains, and very present darknesses.

So much beauty. So much pain. But so much hope, just barely in sight, for each of us.

The beauty of their stories and their vulnerabilities brought about connection and reassurance.

I became so glad i came to the group.

My own darknesses faded to the background,

–Still there, but as a dark canvas, ready to contrast with an image of bright, brilliant colors–

Replaced by a HAPPY, bubbly, talkative, supportive version of myself that i’ve only rarely gotten to experience.

I’m learning to love that girl– That happy-go-lucky but insightful version of me.

…as i’m also learning to love that broken, righteously angry, introspective, and compassionate me.

She is one and the same.

Beautiful and whole.

Strong through weakness.

Compassionate through pain.

Read More of Alissa’s Style Journey:

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

More Mental Health Blog Posts:

Getting Back Into A Confident, Healthy Flow in 2021 and 2022

After almost two years of pandemic craziness, if you’re ready to get back out there and live your life, you need to do it with confidence. And to do that, you need to take steps to improve your health, wellbeing, and overall quality of life. Lawrence Mager and Story Behind The Cloth have listed some simple tips for how you can do just that:

Cool Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 7

I challenged myself at the beginning of this week to stop being lazy about my outfits just because i have nowhere to go, and instead start getting dressed up in clothes that make me feel good about myself that day.

I was surprised just how much more empowered i’ve been feeling with this simple task. By putting on clothes i love, and doing so for no apparent reason besides deciding i want to, i’ve also been putting on confidence.

What do you think? Will you try getting #AllDressedUp this week and see what it does for you?

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Self-Care Edition

Never Have i Ever – Self-Care Edition.

1 point for everything you HAVE done!
Have you made good progress in taking better care of yourself?
Share: How many points did you get??
What are you missing?…Which one will you work on today?

How Fashion Can Be Good for Your Mental Health

Would you believe me if i said that fashion can improve your mental health, and in more ways than one? Fashion and mental health can mix beautifully… Simply getting dressed can be a fantastic mental hygiene practice!

Here’s 10 ways fashion can be amazing for your mental health!

Fashion + Self Love Party: Savvy is Classy – A Sweet Mess in a Dress

Guest post by Deanna from Lucky.Love.Life.
I’ve never been one to believe that you have to spend a paycheck to look nice.
You don’t need an $850 dress, or pair of shoes, or handbag, to fit in or look amazing. Buy what makes you feel cute and inspired but remember your life is about experiences, not things. You need confidence, charisma, and a rockin’ smile. No matter what you are wearing, you’ll be dressed to the nines.

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 2

Starting your day off with one little thing that oozes confidence can go a long way in positively impacting your day–i think that’s why dressing up is helping me so far…plus, by dressing up, you’re carrying that confidence right over your skin….it’s close and touchable, and therefore easier to remember. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s a little easier to feel comfortable with your mind and your soul.

Serenity -Outfit Styling Based on Desirable Qualities

An outfit styling based on the kind of person i want to be and qualities i hope to grow in this season of my life. Serenity, gentleness…Peace with myself and the world around me. Remembering my own past, but not letting it be the main thing to shape me. Allowing myself to grow, but not being angry about where i am at.
Loosely inspired by traditional Japanese style and ideals.

Happiness Is Freedom

I do not believe that false “joy” and stagnant “hope” are the answer…But i do believe that happiness can be discovered in little things when you feel like it’s nowhere to be found. When we’re able to find true happiness, we gain power to free ourselves, both on an emotional level and in a way that allows us to more easily work towards our goals, which will set us free on a more tangible level.

Sketches of Anxiousness – My Anxiety-Inspired Fashion Collection

I felt inspired to bring how i was feeling onto paper in the form of conceptual fashion sketches.

I thought i’d share them with you for two reasons:
1. To give hope that you’re not alone and that others understand what you’re going through.

2. To shed light on what mental health issues feel like–anxiety in particular–and hopefully bring in some more understanding and sympathy.

More Fashion-Philosophy:

Vibrant Urban Poet: A Style Story Interview with Tajinder Kaur | + Punjabi Culture and Sparking Conversation Through Clothes

“No matter what style I choose to wear, whether it’s streetwear or a whimsical style, colour and confidence will always be present.” – Tajinder Kaur

Tajinder is determined, talented, genuine, beautiful, and has a unique and vivid sense of style. What first brought her blog to my attention is the mix of her quirky style along with her beautifully raw poetry–It’s an example of a fashion blog that is truly a “must-read” and not just a “must-view”.

Read her Style Story to learn more about her:

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go

A lot of people envy a work-at-home life, sitting around in pajamas all day. But i can’t stand this anymore. Though i’ve always known i don’t work my best unless i get up and dressed, i’ve still gotten caught in this lazy cycle.
So, this week, i decided i’m going to get all dressed up, even though i have nowhere to go.
Maybe this will help me, maybe it won’t. Maybe it will just give me more to panic over. But i figure it couldn’t be worse than just sitting around, having given up on trying.

Why “Dressing Your Age” is Nonsense

We’re never too young or too old to express ourselves. The idea of dressing your age is nonsense… Here are 6 reasons why:

Happiness Is Freedom

I do not believe that false “joy” and stagnant “hope” are the answer…But i do believe that happiness can be discovered in little things when you feel like it’s nowhere to be found. When we’re able to find true happiness, we gain power to free ourselves, both on an emotional level and in a way that allows us to more easily work towards our goals, which will set us free on a more tangible level.

The Story Begins – Fashion as a Form of Storytelling

I believe fashion is a form of storytelling…. Delving into that idea is the core purpose in starting this blog… What you wear tells people who you are and what you love–It tells a story. It’s personal and you bring it with you wherever you go. What if we could make our clothes declare, with even greater strength, the truth of who we are? What if our outfits could be a catalyst for conversations about the things we’re passionate about?
The plan is to explore the depths of these ideas….

Fashion + Self Love Party: What to Wear When Your Heart’s Been Broken

Finding Comfort in Your Clothes After Heartbreak:
Guest post by Josie Mills from Open Mind Fashion (OMF).
I kissed a few frogs on the path to meeting my prince, my husband. And along the way, some left me green and croaking for a while. In those tough times, I would become even more aware of the textures & qualities of my clothes–my clothes became a form of solace, and dressing up would help me get through the next day even though I wanted to die.

Fashion + Self Love Party: Curbing Unhealthy Spending & Loving the Wardrobe You Already Have

Guest post by Lindsey from Have Clothes, Will Travel.
Living in a day and age where everywhere we turn there is pressure to buy the latest and greatest fashion makes it very easy to fall into the “retail therapy” trap. And to make it even more difficult, our brain actually releases the pleasure-inducing chemical dopamine when you buy something new…
…getting addicted to this high is not only bad for your overall self-esteem, it can, obviously, be very damaging to your wallet.
However, I’ve taken a few measures to correct this…
… the trick to it all is creating the illusion you have a ton of clothes by swapping out key pieces when styling your outfits with clothes you already own.

7 Mistakes That Kill Your Outfit

Picture yourself:
Pulling one piece of clothing out of your closet after another, glancing at each one before frustratedly throwing each one to the side with a huff of disappointment. After nearly pulling your hair out in frustration, you’ve finally settled on what to wear. You’re ready to face the world… Or are you? 

In this post, you will find seven things that will ruin your outfit… A forewarning that can give you direction away from what not to do.

Fashion + Self Love Party: For the Love of the Gram – A Short Guide for Increasing Self-Love Despite Social Media Influence

Guest post by Savana from Official Savana Rae.
Instagram has so much interesting content and impressive content creators. However, the bar is set very high. When the bar is set as high as it is, growing may become an issue. It mainly drives attention to the biggest accounts–which undermines the rest no matter how good your content may be.

I have noticed that a lot of people have been affected by this, and a big loss in confidence has increased in my fellow influencers and those who follow me.

I want to give you some self-love advice that I myself follow when I feel low, because let’s face it–we all have THOSE days.

This guide to increase self-love is one that I find incredibly useful, as my mom reminds most days that we all need to love ourselves first so that we can be at peace. Think about it this way, if you didn’t love yourself, how can you feel at peace?

Getting Back Into A Confident, Healthy Flow in 2021 and 2022

After almost two years of pandemic craziness, if you’re ready to get back out there and live your life, you need to do it with confidence. And to do that, you need to take steps to improve your health, wellbeing, and overall quality of life. Lawrence Mager and Story Behind The Cloth have listed some simple tips for how you can do just that:

Styles You’ll Enjoy If You Liked This Outfit:

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 7

I challenged myself at the beginning of this week to stop being lazy about my outfits just because i have nowhere to go, and instead start getting dressed up in clothes that make me feel good about myself that day.

I was surprised just how much more empowered i’ve been feeling with this simple task. By putting on clothes i love, and doing so for no apparent reason besides deciding i want to, i’ve also been putting on confidence.

What do you think? Will you try getting #AllDressedUp this week and see what it does for you?

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 4

Oops. Two days in a row the title is not true. My family is going out this afternoon to see a play, and i decided to go with them. Funny how the week i decide to dress up despite having nowhere to go, i actually have places to go, huh?

Witchy Style Guide: 4 Powerful Elements of Gothic Bohemian and Dark Mori Kei Fashion

Powerful, magical, dark, and dramatic fashion for fierce and romantic individuals with great curiosity, serenity, love for nature, and humble understanding of their strengths and weaknesses as well as the depths and beauty of life and death.
 

If that sounds like you, read on to learn how to create a wardrobe that is as Witchy as your soul, and venture into a life of magic of your own creation, as these powerful but graceful looks inspire you to embrace and strengthen all aspects of yourself, equally unafraid of your light and your dark

Long Question – An Outfit Representing the Painful Beauty of Heartache

Have you ever felt heartache so strong, so beautiful, so wonderfully painful;

…one that makes you sigh with relief, contemplating that you’ve lived and loved to the fullest you could possibly imagine…?

Connecting With Emotion

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

Winner of #QuaintBehindTheCloth Challenge 2022

You voted for your favorite Quaint outfits…See who won!

Witchy Hats for Halloween and Beyond

Whether you’re shopping for a Halloween costume or updating your day-to-day wardrobe, a good witch hat will help you embrace your inner magick like no other accessory!

Browse and shop my curated lists below for witchy hats that are elegantly classic enough to take you through this Halloween season and beyond!

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 5

The day didn’t start out fantastic, but…I’m going to be fair to myself, with a focus on self-care and making sure i’m comfortable–first and foremost–while still pushing myself to do all that is necessary so that i feel accomplished at the end of the day.

So i’ll start off with comfy clothes and accepting that this post is being published later than the other ones were.

I Feared Waking Up

Through the entirety of almost 5 years together, every time i looked at him or heard him laugh, i felt like i was dreaming. My fear was waking up, not breaking up.

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

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