Accepting weakness begets strength.

I began my day depressed and anxious and exhausted as soon as i woke up.

I didn’t want to go to group therapy– i just wanted to wallow in frustration and go back to sleep.

But i recognized my responsibility to myself and my mental health.

I can’t force my emotions to change by the snap of my fingers or a fake smile…

…so i decided to embrace my darker feelings and allow myself to feel however i do throughout the day…

…while still adhering to my responsibilities to my well-being. (Including taking a PRN anxiety medication to help me better manage my stress..)

You can even see it in my outfit!

Especially my earrings…

I am queen of my darkness, and equally queen of my light.

I can own my struggles, i can own my pains, i can own those emotions that feel so very close to death.

They are mine, but i am not theirs.

I can relax in who i am, moment to moment, and see beauty even in the dark and quiet.

I aimed only to allow myself to feel, even if the feelings are dark.

I expected myself to be tired and mostly disengaged at group, but present.

….But, you know the funny thing?

I got to group,

I saw the beauty in the people around me, in spite of their traumas, weaknesses, doubts, pains, and very present darknesses.

So much beauty. So much pain. But so much hope, just barely in sight, for each of us.

The beauty of their stories and their vulnerabilities brought about connection and reassurance.

I became so glad i came to the group.

My own darknesses faded to the background,

–Still there, but as a dark canvas, ready to contrast with an image of bright, brilliant colors–

Replaced by a HAPPY, bubbly, talkative, supportive version of myself that i’ve only rarely gotten to experience.

I’m learning to love that girl– That happy-go-lucky but insightful version of me.

…as i’m also learning to love that broken, righteously angry, introspective, and compassionate me.

She is one and the same.

Beautiful and whole.

Strong through weakness.

Compassionate through pain.

Read More of Alissa’s Style Journey:

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

More Mental Health Blog Posts:

Connecting With Emotion

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

Sketches of Anxiousness – My Anxiety-Inspired Fashion Collection

I felt inspired to bring how i was feeling onto paper in the form of conceptual fashion sketches.

I thought i’d share them with you for two reasons:
1. To give hope that you’re not alone and that others understand what you’re going through.

2. To shed light on what mental health issues feel like–anxiety in particular–and hopefully bring in some more understanding and sympathy.

How Fashion Can Be Good for Your Mental Health

Would you believe me if i said that fashion can improve your mental health, and in more ways than one? Fashion and mental health can mix beautifully… Simply getting dressed can be a fantastic mental hygiene practice!

Here’s 10 ways fashion can be amazing for your mental health!

Warm Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 2

Starting your day off with one little thing that oozes confidence can go a long way in positively impacting your day–i think that’s why dressing up is helping me so far…plus, by dressing up, you’re carrying that confidence right over your skin….it’s close and touchable, and therefore easier to remember. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s a little easier to feel comfortable with your mind and your soul.

Confidence and Self Love – Encouragement From Imaan at The August Clause

Confidence is an interesting thing, isn’t it? Some seem to shine with it, and with ease. Others feel they’ll never find it. But really, all of us deal with a lack of it from time to time. It comes and goes. We can be so hard on ourselves, and that attitude of shame then easily permeates the rest of our lives. We need to learn to love ourselves. And love is a continuous action…so sometimes we have to learn again and again.

Getting Back Into A Confident, Healthy Flow in 2021 and 2022

After almost two years of pandemic craziness, if you’re ready to get back out there and live your life, you need to do it with confidence. And to do that, you need to take steps to improve your health, wellbeing, and overall quality of life. Lawrence Mager and Story Behind The Cloth have listed some simple tips for how you can do just that:

Fashion + Self Love Party: What to Wear When Your Heart’s Been Broken

Finding Comfort in Your Clothes After Heartbreak:
Guest post by Josie Mills from Open Mind Fashion (OMF).
I kissed a few frogs on the path to meeting my prince, my husband. And along the way, some left me green and croaking for a while. In those tough times, I would become even more aware of the textures & qualities of my clothes–my clothes became a form of solace, and dressing up would help me get through the next day even though I wanted to die.

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Fashion Blunders Edition

Never Have I Ever – Fashion Blunders Edition!
We’re about to get REAL…

The most honest people win!
1 point for everything you HAVE done.
Share: How many points did you get?
Which one do you think is the hardest to overcome?

7 Mistakes That Kill Your Outfit

Picture yourself:
Pulling one piece of clothing out of your closet after another, glancing at each one before frustratedly throwing each one to the side with a huff of disappointment. After nearly pulling your hair out in frustration, you’ve finally settled on what to wear. You’re ready to face the world… Or are you? 

In this post, you will find seven things that will ruin your outfit… A forewarning that can give you direction away from what not to do.

More Fashion-Philosophy:

Confidence and Self Love – Encouragement From Imaan at The August Clause

Confidence is an interesting thing, isn’t it? Some seem to shine with it, and with ease. Others feel they’ll never find it. But really, all of us deal with a lack of it from time to time. It comes and goes. We can be so hard on ourselves, and that attitude of shame then easily permeates the rest of our lives. We need to learn to love ourselves. And love is a continuous action…so sometimes we have to learn again and again.

How to Make Your Clothes Tell a Story – Fashion, Storytelling, and Symbolism

How can you tell a story through your clothes? What we wear hints at who we are. It’s a powerful experience when we wear clothes that tell a story. Unfortunately, the meaning isn’t always clear to all who see your outfit–Often times leading to misconceptions based off of stereotypes. But using symbolism is a good start to bring more clarity.

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go

A lot of people envy a work-at-home life, sitting around in pajamas all day. But i can’t stand this anymore. Though i’ve always known i don’t work my best unless i get up and dressed, i’ve still gotten caught in this lazy cycle.
So, this week, i decided i’m going to get all dressed up, even though i have nowhere to go.
Maybe this will help me, maybe it won’t. Maybe it will just give me more to panic over. But i figure it couldn’t be worse than just sitting around, having given up on trying.

Green and Red, The Colors Of Christmas

Dots of red and green lights outline the houses all down your street. These colors turn up everywhere you look this season, in the form of ornaments, giftwrap, holiday dresses–Just to name a few. Even outside of the winter season, pairing green with red almost immediately elicits thoughts of Christmas cheer.

But why are red and green THE Christmas colors of choice?

Cool Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

Connecting With Emotion

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

Sketches of Anxiousness – My Anxiety-Inspired Fashion Collection

I felt inspired to bring how i was feeling onto paper in the form of conceptual fashion sketches.

I thought i’d share them with you for two reasons:
1. To give hope that you’re not alone and that others understand what you’re going through.

2. To shed light on what mental health issues feel like–anxiety in particular–and hopefully bring in some more understanding and sympathy.

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Self-Care Edition

Never Have i Ever – Self-Care Edition.

1 point for everything you HAVE done!
Have you made good progress in taking better care of yourself?
Share: How many points did you get??
What are you missing?…Which one will you work on today?

Witchy Hats for Halloween and Beyond

Whether you’re shopping for a Halloween costume or updating your day-to-day wardrobe, a good witch hat will help you embrace your inner magick like no other accessory!

Browse and shop my curated lists below for witchy hats that are elegantly classic enough to take you through this Halloween season and beyond!

You’re Invited! – Valentine’s Day Blog Party

Celebrate self-love through fashion!
We will be celebrating varieties of beauty and learning how to better love ourselves for who we are and how we express ourselves! 14 guest bloggers will teach you how to overcome insecurity and embrace the beautiful, unique individual you are.

Styles You’ll Enjoy If You Liked This Outfit:

Witchy Fashion Deals: Deep Discounts on Dark Mori Kei and Gothic Bohemian Style Clothing

Witchy Style radiates curiosity, serenity, and love for nature, and holds dear all of life–even the struggles. With inspiration from dark mori kei and gothic bohemian styles, it embraces little “imperfections” and the darker sides of humanity.

Enjoy these witchy products at sales prices over 40% off while you can!

I regularly curate this page, so come back again to browse more newly discounted products in a few weeks.

Quaint Style Guide: 5 Elements of Cozy Mori-Kei Fashion

Charming clothing that is reminiscent of quiet and content, cabin-in-the-woods life–perfect for peaceful, sweet, nostalgic, quirky, independent (and especially introverted) individuals with a love for nature, creative works, and the idealistic thought of more simple, natural and relaxed living.
If that sounds like you, read on to learn how to create a wardrobe that is as Quaint as your soul, and slip into a quiet mindset as these nostalgic and cozy looks inspire a tranquil life full of simple pleasures and independence, surrounded by nature. With this charming, warm and comfy wardrobe strongly inspired by Mori-Kei (Japanese – Translates: “Forest Style”) you may experience a sense of peace and comfort in even the most hectic of days.

Pages – An Outfit Representing a New Chapter of Life

Life is a story… That we get to take part in both reading and writing!
We get to create who we want to be.
We get to watch life unfold.
Let’s enjoy every page!
What do you hope to “write” in this next chapter of your life?

I Feared Waking Up

Through the entirety of almost 5 years together, every time i looked at him or heard him laugh, i felt like i was dreaming. My fear was waking up, not breaking up.

Happiness Is Freedom

I do not believe that false “joy” and stagnant “hope” are the answer…But i do believe that happiness can be discovered in little things when you feel like it’s nowhere to be found. When we’re able to find true happiness, we gain power to free ourselves, both on an emotional level and in a way that allows us to more easily work towards our goals, which will set us free on a more tangible level.

Where is Far, Far Away and How Do i Get There? | Peaceful and Adventurous OotD

“Where is far, far away and how do I get there?” Adventure fuels my soul, but i’ve felt incredibly stuck. I MUST maintain inner peace as the first step in any new adventure. This peaceful and adventurous outfit embodies these things.

Dead Tired

I've been chronically exhausted since i was, like, 8 years old. I don't know why, but hopefully will soon. I'm finally getting it addressed with doctors... My psychiatrist gave me a cortisol test kit to see if i have adrenal fatigue and my primary physician referred...

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 5

The day didn’t start out fantastic, but…I’m going to be fair to myself, with a focus on self-care and making sure i’m comfortable–first and foremost–while still pushing myself to do all that is necessary so that i feel accomplished at the end of the day.

So i’ll start off with comfy clothes and accepting that this post is being published later than the other ones were.

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 4

Oops. Two days in a row the title is not true. My family is going out this afternoon to see a play, and i decided to go with them. Funny how the week i decide to dress up despite having nowhere to go, i actually have places to go, huh?

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