Accepting weakness begets strength.

I began my day depressed and anxious and exhausted as soon as i woke up.

I didn’t want to go to group therapy– i just wanted to wallow in frustration and go back to sleep.

But i recognized my responsibility to myself and my mental health.

I can’t force my emotions to change by the snap of my fingers or a fake smile…

…so i decided to embrace my darker feelings and allow myself to feel however i do throughout the day…

…while still adhering to my responsibilities to my well-being. (Including taking a PRN anxiety medication to help me better manage my stress..)

You can even see it in my outfit!

Especially my earrings…

I am queen of my darkness, and equally queen of my light.

I can own my struggles, i can own my pains, i can own those emotions that feel so very close to death.

They are mine, but i am not theirs.

I can relax in who i am, moment to moment, and see beauty even in the dark and quiet.

I aimed only to allow myself to feel, even if the feelings are dark.

I expected myself to be tired and mostly disengaged at group, but present.

….But, you know the funny thing?

I got to group,

I saw the beauty in the people around me, in spite of their traumas, weaknesses, doubts, pains, and very present darknesses.

So much beauty. So much pain. But so much hope, just barely in sight, for each of us.

The beauty of their stories and their vulnerabilities brought about connection and reassurance.

I became so glad i came to the group.

My own darknesses faded to the background,

–Still there, but as a dark canvas, ready to contrast with an image of bright, brilliant colors–

Replaced by a HAPPY, bubbly, talkative, supportive version of myself that i’ve only rarely gotten to experience.

I’m learning to love that girl– That happy-go-lucky but insightful version of me.

…as i’m also learning to love that broken, righteously angry, introspective, and compassionate me.

She is one and the same.

Beautiful and whole.

Strong through weakness.

Compassionate through pain.

Read More of Alissa’s Style Journey:

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

More Mental Health Blog Posts:

Fashion + Self Love Party: How To Fall In Love With Yourself This Valentine’s Day!

Guest post by Lena from Lena Dee XO.
Valentine’s is fast approaching and more than often we’re caught up on having a love life with someone else. I bet you sometimes forget it’s okay to be madly in love with yourself and the person you’re becoming. I’m here to remind you NOW is the time to embrace yourself!

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Fashion Blunders Edition

Never Have I Ever – Fashion Blunders Edition!
We’re about to get REAL…

The most honest people win!
1 point for everything you HAVE done.
Share: How many points did you get?
Which one do you think is the hardest to overcome?

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 2

Starting your day off with one little thing that oozes confidence can go a long way in positively impacting your day–i think that’s why dressing up is helping me so far…plus, by dressing up, you’re carrying that confidence right over your skin….it’s close and touchable, and therefore easier to remember. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s a little easier to feel comfortable with your mind and your soul.

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go

A lot of people envy a work-at-home life, sitting around in pajamas all day. But i can’t stand this anymore. Though i’ve always known i don’t work my best unless i get up and dressed, i’ve still gotten caught in this lazy cycle.
So, this week, i decided i’m going to get all dressed up, even though i have nowhere to go.
Maybe this will help me, maybe it won’t. Maybe it will just give me more to panic over. But i figure it couldn’t be worse than just sitting around, having given up on trying.

Fashion + Self Love Party: Uplift Your Confidence and Self-Esteem with Fashion

Guest post by Lia from A Southern Girl, Lia.
Fashion and the clothes you choose reflect and affect your mood and attitude.
The magic begins when you find a super cute outfit, you put it on grab some heels and Bam! You see a different person in the mirror and so you start acting like one too. Your confidence starts showing and you start building a high self-esteem. Don’t forget that little dance we all do in front of the mirror when we are feeling fabulous.
I hope that my step by step routine is of help to you!

Sketches of Anxiousness – My Anxiety-Inspired Fashion Collection

I felt inspired to bring how i was feeling onto paper in the form of conceptual fashion sketches.

I thought i’d share them with you for two reasons:
1. To give hope that you’re not alone and that others understand what you’re going through.

2. To shed light on what mental health issues feel like–anxiety in particular–and hopefully bring in some more understanding and sympathy.

Happiness Is Freedom

I do not believe that false “joy” and stagnant “hope” are the answer…But i do believe that happiness can be discovered in little things when you feel like it’s nowhere to be found. When we’re able to find true happiness, we gain power to free ourselves, both on an emotional level and in a way that allows us to more easily work towards our goals, which will set us free on a more tangible level.

Serenity -Outfit Styling Based on Desirable Qualities

An outfit styling based on the kind of person i want to be and qualities i hope to grow in this season of my life. Serenity, gentleness…Peace with myself and the world around me. Remembering my own past, but not letting it be the main thing to shape me. Allowing myself to grow, but not being angry about where i am at.
Loosely inspired by traditional Japanese style and ideals.

Fashion + Self Love Party: For the Love of the Gram – A Short Guide for Increasing Self-Love Despite Social Media Influence

Guest post by Savana from Official Savana Rae.
Instagram has so much interesting content and impressive content creators. However, the bar is set very high. When the bar is set as high as it is, growing may become an issue. It mainly drives attention to the biggest accounts–which undermines the rest no matter how good your content may be.

I have noticed that a lot of people have been affected by this, and a big loss in confidence has increased in my fellow influencers and those who follow me.

I want to give you some self-love advice that I myself follow when I feel low, because let’s face it–we all have THOSE days.

This guide to increase self-love is one that I find incredibly useful, as my mom reminds most days that we all need to love ourselves first so that we can be at peace. Think about it this way, if you didn’t love yourself, how can you feel at peace?

Fashion + Self Love Party: Savvy is Classy – A Sweet Mess in a Dress

Guest post by Deanna from Lucky.Love.Life.
I’ve never been one to believe that you have to spend a paycheck to look nice.
You don’t need an $850 dress, or pair of shoes, or handbag, to fit in or look amazing. Buy what makes you feel cute and inspired but remember your life is about experiences, not things. You need confidence, charisma, and a rockin’ smile. No matter what you are wearing, you’ll be dressed to the nines.

More Fashion-Philosophy:

Guest Post: Gender Neutral Clothing and Gender Fluidity

Guest post by Kelsey Davis from The Lux Authority:
Everyone claims their own unique style, but only some have been able to do so without the fear of ridicule. Gender neutrality is not something new, but the specialized clothing is and will undoubtedly continue to succeed, shape lives, and overturn viscous stigmas.

Fashion + Self Love Party: For the Love of the Gram – A Short Guide for Increasing Self-Love Despite Social Media Influence

Guest post by Savana from Official Savana Rae.
Instagram has so much interesting content and impressive content creators. However, the bar is set very high. When the bar is set as high as it is, growing may become an issue. It mainly drives attention to the biggest accounts–which undermines the rest no matter how good your content may be.

I have noticed that a lot of people have been affected by this, and a big loss in confidence has increased in my fellow influencers and those who follow me.

I want to give you some self-love advice that I myself follow when I feel low, because let’s face it–we all have THOSE days.

This guide to increase self-love is one that I find incredibly useful, as my mom reminds most days that we all need to love ourselves first so that we can be at peace. Think about it this way, if you didn’t love yourself, how can you feel at peace?

Happiness Is Freedom

I do not believe that false “joy” and stagnant “hope” are the answer…But i do believe that happiness can be discovered in little things when you feel like it’s nowhere to be found. When we’re able to find true happiness, we gain power to free ourselves, both on an emotional level and in a way that allows us to more easily work towards our goals, which will set us free on a more tangible level.

Neutral Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

Witchy Hats for Halloween and Beyond

Whether you’re shopping for a Halloween costume or updating your day-to-day wardrobe, a good witch hat will help you embrace your inner magick like no other accessory!

Browse and shop my curated lists below for witchy hats that are elegantly classic enough to take you through this Halloween season and beyond!

Serenity -Outfit Styling Based on Desirable Qualities

An outfit styling based on the kind of person i want to be and qualities i hope to grow in this season of my life. Serenity, gentleness…Peace with myself and the world around me. Remembering my own past, but not letting it be the main thing to shape me. Allowing myself to grow, but not being angry about where i am at.
Loosely inspired by traditional Japanese style and ideals.

6 Ways Exploring Your Personal Fashion Style Encourages Self-Discovery

Fashion can be used as a powerful tool for self-discovery! Here are six big ways your personal style can shead light on who you are on the inside.

Vibrant Urban Poet: A Style Story Interview with Tajinder Kaur | + Punjabi Culture and Sparking Conversation Through Clothes

“No matter what style I choose to wear, whether it’s streetwear or a whimsical style, colour and confidence will always be present.” – Tajinder Kaur

Tajinder is determined, talented, genuine, beautiful, and has a unique and vivid sense of style. What first brought her blog to my attention is the mix of her quirky style along with her beautifully raw poetry–It’s an example of a fashion blog that is truly a “must-read” and not just a “must-view”.

Read her Style Story to learn more about her:

Cool Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

Connecting With Emotion

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

Styles You’ll Enjoy If You Liked This Outfit:

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 7

I challenged myself at the beginning of this week to stop being lazy about my outfits just because i have nowhere to go, and instead start getting dressed up in clothes that make me feel good about myself that day.

I was surprised just how much more empowered i’ve been feeling with this simple task. By putting on clothes i love, and doing so for no apparent reason besides deciding i want to, i’ve also been putting on confidence.

What do you think? Will you try getting #AllDressedUp this week and see what it does for you?

Quaint Fashion Deals: Deep Discounts on Mori Kei and Cabincore Style Clothing

Quaint Style is charming, peaceful, sweet, and independent. Based off Mori-Kei and Cabincore/Cottagecore, It’s quirky but cozy…fit for a princess who’s grown accustomed to being lost in the woods.

Enjoy these quaint products at sales prices over 40% off while you can!

I regularly curate this page, so come back again to browse more newly discounted products in a few weeks.

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 5

The day didn’t start out fantastic, but…I’m going to be fair to myself, with a focus on self-care and making sure i’m comfortable–first and foremost–while still pushing myself to do all that is necessary so that i feel accomplished at the end of the day.

So i’ll start off with comfy clothes and accepting that this post is being published later than the other ones were.

Long Question – An Outfit Representing the Painful Beauty of Heartache

Have you ever felt heartache so strong, so beautiful, so wonderfully painful;

…one that makes you sigh with relief, contemplating that you’ve lived and loved to the fullest you could possibly imagine…?

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

Winner of #QuaintBehindTheCloth Challenge 2022

You voted for your favorite Quaint outfits…See who won!

I Feared Waking Up

Through the entirety of almost 5 years together, every time i looked at him or heard him laugh, i felt like i was dreaming. My fear was waking up, not breaking up.

Connecting With Emotion

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 4

Oops. Two days in a row the title is not true. My family is going out this afternoon to see a play, and i decided to go with them. Funny how the week i decide to dress up despite having nowhere to go, i actually have places to go, huh?

Happiness Is Freedom

I do not believe that false “joy” and stagnant “hope” are the answer…But i do believe that happiness can be discovered in little things when you feel like it’s nowhere to be found. When we’re able to find true happiness, we gain power to free ourselves, both on an emotional level and in a way that allows us to more easily work towards our goals, which will set us free on a more tangible level.

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