Accepting weakness begets strength.

I began my day depressed and anxious and exhausted as soon as i woke up.

I didn’t want to go to group therapy– i just wanted to wallow in frustration and go back to sleep.

But i recognized my responsibility to myself and my mental health.

I can’t force my emotions to change by the snap of my fingers or a fake smile…

…so i decided to embrace my darker feelings and allow myself to feel however i do throughout the day…

…while still adhering to my responsibilities to my well-being. (Including taking a PRN anxiety medication to help me better manage my stress..)

You can even see it in my outfit!

Especially my earrings…

I am queen of my darkness, and equally queen of my light.

I can own my struggles, i can own my pains, i can own those emotions that feel so very close to death.

They are mine, but i am not theirs.

I can relax in who i am, moment to moment, and see beauty even in the dark and quiet.

I aimed only to allow myself to feel, even if the feelings are dark.

I expected myself to be tired and mostly disengaged at group, but present.

….But, you know the funny thing?

I got to group,

I saw the beauty in the people around me, in spite of their traumas, weaknesses, doubts, pains, and very present darknesses.

So much beauty. So much pain. But so much hope, just barely in sight, for each of us.

The beauty of their stories and their vulnerabilities brought about connection and reassurance.

I became so glad i came to the group.

My own darknesses faded to the background,

–Still there, but as a dark canvas, ready to contrast with an image of bright, brilliant colors–

Replaced by a HAPPY, bubbly, talkative, supportive version of myself that i’ve only rarely gotten to experience.

I’m learning to love that girl– That happy-go-lucky but insightful version of me.

…as i’m also learning to love that broken, righteously angry, introspective, and compassionate me.

She is one and the same.

Beautiful and whole.

Strong through weakness.

Compassionate through pain.

Read More of Alissa’s Style Journey:

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

More Mental Health Blog Posts:

Cool Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

Getting Back Into A Confident, Healthy Flow in 2021 and 2022

After almost two years of pandemic craziness, if you’re ready to get back out there and live your life, you need to do it with confidence. And to do that, you need to take steps to improve your health, wellbeing, and overall quality of life. Lawrence Mager and Story Behind The Cloth have listed some simple tips for how you can do just that:

Fashion + Self Love Party: Uplift Your Confidence and Self-Esteem with Fashion

Guest post by Lia from A Southern Girl, Lia.
Fashion and the clothes you choose reflect and affect your mood and attitude.
The magic begins when you find a super cute outfit, you put it on grab some heels and Bam! You see a different person in the mirror and so you start acting like one too. Your confidence starts showing and you start building a high self-esteem. Don’t forget that little dance we all do in front of the mirror when we are feeling fabulous.
I hope that my step by step routine is of help to you!

Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

It was so enjoyable reading all of your answers on the color psychology questionnaire! I’m excited to share with you the results, as well as further color psychology research to complement our study (just a little)! Some were surprising (Could orange be peaceful?; Could yellow be boring?), and others were pretty by-the-book, universally relatable (Red is passionate; Blue ranks as the top liked color; Gray is reminiscent of cloudy skies and seasonal depression).

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 2

Starting your day off with one little thing that oozes confidence can go a long way in positively impacting your day–i think that’s why dressing up is helping me so far…plus, by dressing up, you’re carrying that confidence right over your skin….it’s close and touchable, and therefore easier to remember. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s a little easier to feel comfortable with your mind and your soul.

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Fashion Blunders Edition

Never Have I Ever – Fashion Blunders Edition!
We’re about to get REAL…

The most honest people win!
1 point for everything you HAVE done.
Share: How many points did you get?
Which one do you think is the hardest to overcome?

Color Psychology Questionnaire

Many people have spoken on this topic, and i will do my best to compile the best and most applicable research i can find. But, especially because written knowledge on this topic is so saturated, and can be very opinionated because of personal and cultural differences, i don’t want to begin with simply passing on information. To me, it matters more that this is a discovery process for each of us…How do we as individuals perceive each color? How do they make you feel? Live data is so much more fun and personal! It will help me to create more relatable posts for you.

Fashion + Self Love Party: Curbing Unhealthy Spending & Loving the Wardrobe You Already Have

Guest post by Lindsey from Have Clothes, Will Travel.
Living in a day and age where everywhere we turn there is pressure to buy the latest and greatest fashion makes it very easy to fall into the “retail therapy” trap. And to make it even more difficult, our brain actually releases the pleasure-inducing chemical dopamine when you buy something new…
…getting addicted to this high is not only bad for your overall self-esteem, it can, obviously, be very damaging to your wallet.
However, I’ve taken a few measures to correct this…
… the trick to it all is creating the illusion you have a ton of clothes by swapping out key pieces when styling your outfits with clothes you already own.

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 7

I challenged myself at the beginning of this week to stop being lazy about my outfits just because i have nowhere to go, and instead start getting dressed up in clothes that make me feel good about myself that day.

I was surprised just how much more empowered i’ve been feeling with this simple task. By putting on clothes i love, and doing so for no apparent reason besides deciding i want to, i’ve also been putting on confidence.

What do you think? Will you try getting #AllDressedUp this week and see what it does for you?

Fashion + Self Love Party: Savvy is Classy – A Sweet Mess in a Dress

Guest post by Deanna from Lucky.Love.Life.
I’ve never been one to believe that you have to spend a paycheck to look nice.
You don’t need an $850 dress, or pair of shoes, or handbag, to fit in or look amazing. Buy what makes you feel cute and inspired but remember your life is about experiences, not things. You need confidence, charisma, and a rockin’ smile. No matter what you are wearing, you’ll be dressed to the nines.

More Fashion-Philosophy:

How to Dress Like Ariel

Want to dress like Ariel? Here’s how to analyze Ariel from The Little Mermaid so you can create a costume or outfit inspired by her.

Connecting With Emotion

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

Getting Back Into A Confident, Healthy Flow in 2021 and 2022

After almost two years of pandemic craziness, if you’re ready to get back out there and live your life, you need to do it with confidence. And to do that, you need to take steps to improve your health, wellbeing, and overall quality of life. Lawrence Mager and Story Behind The Cloth have listed some simple tips for how you can do just that:

Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

It was so enjoyable reading all of your answers on the color psychology questionnaire! I’m excited to share with you the results, as well as further color psychology research to complement our study (just a little)! Some were surprising (Could orange be peaceful?; Could yellow be boring?), and others were pretty by-the-book, universally relatable (Red is passionate; Blue ranks as the top liked color; Gray is reminiscent of cloudy skies and seasonal depression).

Fashion + Self Love Party: Curbing Unhealthy Spending & Loving the Wardrobe You Already Have

Guest post by Lindsey from Have Clothes, Will Travel.
Living in a day and age where everywhere we turn there is pressure to buy the latest and greatest fashion makes it very easy to fall into the “retail therapy” trap. And to make it even more difficult, our brain actually releases the pleasure-inducing chemical dopamine when you buy something new…
…getting addicted to this high is not only bad for your overall self-esteem, it can, obviously, be very damaging to your wallet.
However, I’ve taken a few measures to correct this…
… the trick to it all is creating the illusion you have a ton of clothes by swapping out key pieces when styling your outfits with clothes you already own.

7 Mistakes That Kill Your Outfit

Picture yourself:
Pulling one piece of clothing out of your closet after another, glancing at each one before frustratedly throwing each one to the side with a huff of disappointment. After nearly pulling your hair out in frustration, you’ve finally settled on what to wear. You’re ready to face the world… Or are you? 

In this post, you will find seven things that will ruin your outfit… A forewarning that can give you direction away from what not to do.

Classy Colorful Confidence: A Style Story Interview with Shannon Holmes | + Thoughts on Building Confidence, Alabama Culture, and The Beauty of Kindness

Shannon is a cheerful wife, mom, grandmother, and Realtor who lives and works in the Birmingham and Auburn areas of Alabama. She enjoys sharing her love for fashion, color, and life on her Instagram @StyleShenanigens.
Her confidence is unwavering, every day is an opportunity to be her best, and it truly shows in the playful professionalism of each outfit she wears. Her classy silhouettes elude her high standards for herself, and every pop of color gives way to her warm, open personality and kindheartedness. She’s incredibly sweet, passionate about life and people, and her upbeat attitude is inspiring.

Vibrant Urban Poet: A Style Story Interview with Tajinder Kaur | + Punjabi Culture and Sparking Conversation Through Clothes

“No matter what style I choose to wear, whether it’s streetwear or a whimsical style, colour and confidence will always be present.” – Tajinder Kaur

Tajinder is determined, talented, genuine, beautiful, and has a unique and vivid sense of style. What first brought her blog to my attention is the mix of her quirky style along with her beautifully raw poetry–It’s an example of a fashion blog that is truly a “must-read” and not just a “must-view”.

Read her Style Story to learn more about her:

Green and Red, The Colors Of Christmas

Dots of red and green lights outline the houses all down your street. These colors turn up everywhere you look this season, in the form of ornaments, giftwrap, holiday dresses–Just to name a few. Even outside of the winter season, pairing green with red almost immediately elicits thoughts of Christmas cheer.

But why are red and green THE Christmas colors of choice?

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go

A lot of people envy a work-at-home life, sitting around in pajamas all day. But i can’t stand this anymore. Though i’ve always known i don’t work my best unless i get up and dressed, i’ve still gotten caught in this lazy cycle.
So, this week, i decided i’m going to get all dressed up, even though i have nowhere to go.
Maybe this will help me, maybe it won’t. Maybe it will just give me more to panic over. But i figure it couldn’t be worse than just sitting around, having given up on trying.

Styles You’ll Enjoy If You Liked This Outfit:

Witchy Fashion Deals: Deep Discounts on Dark Mori Kei and Gothic Bohemian Style Clothing

Witchy Style radiates curiosity, serenity, and love for nature, and holds dear all of life–even the struggles. With inspiration from dark mori kei and gothic bohemian styles, it embraces little “imperfections” and the darker sides of humanity.

Enjoy these witchy products at sales prices over 40% off while you can!

I regularly curate this page, so come back again to browse more newly discounted products in a few weeks.

#QuaintBehindTheCloth Style Challenge 2022 – Vote for Your Favorites!

View and vote for your favorite enteries to the #QuaintBehindTheCloth outfit designing challenge! Who do you think will win?

Where is Far, Far Away and How Do i Get There? | Peaceful and Adventurous OotD

“Where is far, far away and how do I get there?” Adventure fuels my soul, but i’ve felt incredibly stuck. I MUST maintain inner peace as the first step in any new adventure. This peaceful and adventurous outfit embodies these things.

Witchy Style Guide: 4 Powerful Elements of Gothic Bohemian and Dark Mori Kei Fashion

Powerful, magical, dark, and dramatic fashion for fierce and romantic individuals with great curiosity, serenity, love for nature, and humble understanding of their strengths and weaknesses as well as the depths and beauty of life and death.
 

If that sounds like you, read on to learn how to create a wardrobe that is as Witchy as your soul, and venture into a life of magic of your own creation, as these powerful but graceful looks inspire you to embrace and strengthen all aspects of yourself, equally unafraid of your light and your dark

Winner of #QuaintBehindTheCloth Challenge 2022

You voted for your favorite Quaint outfits…See who won!

Dead Tired

I've been chronically exhausted since i was, like, 8 years old. I don't know why, but hopefully will soon. I'm finally getting it addressed with doctors... My psychiatrist gave me a cortisol test kit to see if i have adrenal fatigue and my primary physician referred...

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 7

I challenged myself at the beginning of this week to stop being lazy about my outfits just because i have nowhere to go, and instead start getting dressed up in clothes that make me feel good about myself that day.

I was surprised just how much more empowered i’ve been feeling with this simple task. By putting on clothes i love, and doing so for no apparent reason besides deciding i want to, i’ve also been putting on confidence.

What do you think? Will you try getting #AllDressedUp this week and see what it does for you?

Happiness Is Freedom

I do not believe that false “joy” and stagnant “hope” are the answer…But i do believe that happiness can be discovered in little things when you feel like it’s nowhere to be found. When we’re able to find true happiness, we gain power to free ourselves, both on an emotional level and in a way that allows us to more easily work towards our goals, which will set us free on a more tangible level.

Long Question – An Outfit Representing the Painful Beauty of Heartache

Have you ever felt heartache so strong, so beautiful, so wonderfully painful;

…one that makes you sigh with relief, contemplating that you’ve lived and loved to the fullest you could possibly imagine…?

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

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