Accepting weakness begets strength.

I began my day depressed and anxious and exhausted as soon as i woke up.

I didn’t want to go to group therapy– i just wanted to wallow in frustration and go back to sleep.

But i recognized my responsibility to myself and my mental health.

I can’t force my emotions to change by the snap of my fingers or a fake smile…

…so i decided to embrace my darker feelings and allow myself to feel however i do throughout the day…

…while still adhering to my responsibilities to my well-being. (Including taking a PRN anxiety medication to help me better manage my stress..)

You can even see it in my outfit!

Especially my earrings…

I am queen of my darkness, and equally queen of my light.

I can own my struggles, i can own my pains, i can own those emotions that feel so very close to death.

They are mine, but i am not theirs.

I can relax in who i am, moment to moment, and see beauty even in the dark and quiet.

I aimed only to allow myself to feel, even if the feelings are dark.

I expected myself to be tired and mostly disengaged at group, but present.

….But, you know the funny thing?

I got to group,

I saw the beauty in the people around me, in spite of their traumas, weaknesses, doubts, pains, and very present darknesses.

So much beauty. So much pain. But so much hope, just barely in sight, for each of us.

The beauty of their stories and their vulnerabilities brought about connection and reassurance.

I became so glad i came to the group.

My own darknesses faded to the background,

–Still there, but as a dark canvas, ready to contrast with an image of bright, brilliant colors–

Replaced by a HAPPY, bubbly, talkative, supportive version of myself that i’ve only rarely gotten to experience.

I’m learning to love that girl– That happy-go-lucky but insightful version of me.

…as i’m also learning to love that broken, righteously angry, introspective, and compassionate me.

She is one and the same.

Beautiful and whole.

Strong through weakness.

Compassionate through pain.

Read More of Alissa’s Style Journey:

Trailblazing – An Outfit Representing Paving My Own Journey

Trailblazing – An Outfit Representing Paving My Own Journey

There’s a long journey ahead, and i need to trailblaze the path myself. The paths society has paved do not suit me. Attempting to walk them is dangerous to me and full of strife. “Normalcy” may not exist for me and i don’t want to attempt to adhere to it anymore. I MUST figure out how to make life work with my own needs.
SO, i’m gonna build a “skoolie” to live in!

Your Love Was My Favorite Adventure

Your Love Was My Favorite Adventure

I don’t really have a place to call
“home”. That used to be an idea that would excite me and send wonderful
chills down my spine… “Alissa the nomad”. For as long as i can remember
i deeply believed that was my
one and only possible destiny;
the only thing that could ever
make me feel whole.
Now all i want is to go home.

More Mental Health Blog Posts:

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Fashion Blunders Edition

Never Have I Ever – Fashion Blunders Edition!
We’re about to get REAL…

The most honest people win!
1 point for everything you HAVE done.
Share: How many points did you get?
Which one do you think is the hardest to overcome?

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 2

Starting your day off with one little thing that oozes confidence can go a long way in positively impacting your day–i think that’s why dressing up is helping me so far…plus, by dressing up, you’re carrying that confidence right over your skin….it’s close and touchable, and therefore easier to remember. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s a little easier to feel comfortable with your mind and your soul.

Color Psychology Questionnaire

Many people have spoken on this topic, and i will do my best to compile the best and most applicable research i can find. But, especially because written knowledge on this topic is so saturated, and can be very opinionated because of personal and cultural differences, i don’t want to begin with simply passing on information. To me, it matters more that this is a discovery process for each of us…How do we as individuals perceive each color? How do they make you feel? Live data is so much more fun and personal! It will help me to create more relatable posts for you.

Why “Dressing Your Age” is Nonsense

We’re never too young or too old to express ourselves. The idea of dressing your age is nonsense… Here are 6 reasons why:

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Self-Care Edition

Never Have i Ever – Self-Care Edition.

1 point for everything you HAVE done!
Have you made good progress in taking better care of yourself?
Share: How many points did you get??
What are you missing?…Which one will you work on today?

7 Mistakes That Kill Your Outfit

Picture yourself:
Pulling one piece of clothing out of your closet after another, glancing at each one before frustratedly throwing each one to the side with a huff of disappointment. After nearly pulling your hair out in frustration, you’ve finally settled on what to wear. You’re ready to face the world… Or are you? 

In this post, you will find seven things that will ruin your outfit… A forewarning that can give you direction away from what not to do.

Warm Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

Fashion + Self Love Party: For the Love of the Gram – A Short Guide for Increasing Self-Love Despite Social Media Influence

Guest post by Savana from Official Savana Rae.
Instagram has so much interesting content and impressive content creators. However, the bar is set very high. When the bar is set as high as it is, growing may become an issue. It mainly drives attention to the biggest accounts–which undermines the rest no matter how good your content may be.

I have noticed that a lot of people have been affected by this, and a big loss in confidence has increased in my fellow influencers and those who follow me.

I want to give you some self-love advice that I myself follow when I feel low, because let’s face it–we all have THOSE days.

This guide to increase self-love is one that I find incredibly useful, as my mom reminds most days that we all need to love ourselves first so that we can be at peace. Think about it this way, if you didn’t love yourself, how can you feel at peace?

Fashion + Self Love Party: Uplift Your Confidence and Self-Esteem with Fashion

Guest post by Lia from A Southern Girl, Lia.
Fashion and the clothes you choose reflect and affect your mood and attitude.
The magic begins when you find a super cute outfit, you put it on grab some heels and Bam! You see a different person in the mirror and so you start acting like one too. Your confidence starts showing and you start building a high self-esteem. Don’t forget that little dance we all do in front of the mirror when we are feeling fabulous.
I hope that my step by step routine is of help to you!

Cool Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

More Fashion-Philosophy:

The Story Begins – Fashion as a Form of Storytelling

I believe fashion is a form of storytelling…. Delving into that idea is the core purpose in starting this blog… What you wear tells people who you are and what you love–It tells a story. It’s personal and you bring it with you wherever you go. What if we could make our clothes declare, with even greater strength, the truth of who we are? What if our outfits could be a catalyst for conversations about the things we’re passionate about?
The plan is to explore the depths of these ideas….

7 Mistakes That Kill Your Outfit

Picture yourself:
Pulling one piece of clothing out of your closet after another, glancing at each one before frustratedly throwing each one to the side with a huff of disappointment. After nearly pulling your hair out in frustration, you’ve finally settled on what to wear. You’re ready to face the world… Or are you? 

In this post, you will find seven things that will ruin your outfit… A forewarning that can give you direction away from what not to do.

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Fashion Blunders Edition

Never Have I Ever – Fashion Blunders Edition!
We’re about to get REAL…

The most honest people win!
1 point for everything you HAVE done.
Share: How many points did you get?
Which one do you think is the hardest to overcome?

Fashion + Self Love Party: Uplift Your Confidence and Self-Esteem with Fashion

Guest post by Lia from A Southern Girl, Lia.
Fashion and the clothes you choose reflect and affect your mood and attitude.
The magic begins when you find a super cute outfit, you put it on grab some heels and Bam! You see a different person in the mirror and so you start acting like one too. Your confidence starts showing and you start building a high self-esteem. Don’t forget that little dance we all do in front of the mirror when we are feeling fabulous.
I hope that my step by step routine is of help to you!

Fashion + Self Love Party: Love Your Style, Love Yourself

Guest post by Alice from A Lot on Your Mind.
Two psychologists, Hajo and Galinksy (2012), coined the term ‘enclothed cognition’ which argues that your style reflects and affects your mood, health, and overall confidence. If our clothes affect our mood, why don’t we choose the clothes that express our best selves and will make us feel legitimately beautiful?
Here are some tips to owning your personal style:

Happiness Is Freedom

I do not believe that false “joy” and stagnant “hope” are the answer…But i do believe that happiness can be discovered in little things when you feel like it’s nowhere to be found. When we’re able to find true happiness, we gain power to free ourselves, both on an emotional level and in a way that allows us to more easily work towards our goals, which will set us free on a more tangible level.

8 Elements of Character Costume Design

Whether it’s for Halloween, Disney-bounding on vacation, or just for the fun of putting together an outfit that’s inspired by a favorite movie, TV, video game, or book character–I think we all enjoy getting into somebody else’s shoes every once in a while.

This post will be looking not only at how to get the aesthetics right, but also at how to use character traits and storyline for inspiration, so we can get to the heart of the character we are portraying.

So, here are 8 aspects of costume and character design to consider before creating your character-based outfit:

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go

A lot of people envy a work-at-home life, sitting around in pajamas all day. But i can’t stand this anymore. Though i’ve always known i don’t work my best unless i get up and dressed, i’ve still gotten caught in this lazy cycle.
So, this week, i decided i’m going to get all dressed up, even though i have nowhere to go.
Maybe this will help me, maybe it won’t. Maybe it will just give me more to panic over. But i figure it couldn’t be worse than just sitting around, having given up on trying.

Guest Post: Gender Neutral Clothing and Gender Fluidity

Guest post by Kelsey Davis from The Lux Authority:
Everyone claims their own unique style, but only some have been able to do so without the fear of ridicule. Gender neutrality is not something new, but the specialized clothing is and will undoubtedly continue to succeed, shape lives, and overturn viscous stigmas.

Getting Back Into A Confident, Healthy Flow in 2021 and 2022

After almost two years of pandemic craziness, if you’re ready to get back out there and live your life, you need to do it with confidence. And to do that, you need to take steps to improve your health, wellbeing, and overall quality of life. Lawrence Mager and Story Behind The Cloth have listed some simple tips for how you can do just that:

Styles You’ll Enjoy If You Liked This Outfit:

Happiness Is Freedom

I do not believe that false “joy” and stagnant “hope” are the answer…But i do believe that happiness can be discovered in little things when you feel like it’s nowhere to be found. When we’re able to find true happiness, we gain power to free ourselves, both on an emotional level and in a way that allows us to more easily work towards our goals, which will set us free on a more tangible level.

Pages – An Outfit Representing a New Chapter of Life

Life is a story… That we get to take part in both reading and writing!
We get to create who we want to be.
We get to watch life unfold.
Let’s enjoy every page!
What do you hope to “write” in this next chapter of your life?

Witchy Style Guide: 4 Powerful Elements of Gothic Bohemian and Dark Mori Kei Fashion

Powerful, magical, dark, and dramatic fashion for fierce and romantic individuals with great curiosity, serenity, love for nature, and humble understanding of their strengths and weaknesses as well as the depths and beauty of life and death.
 

If that sounds like you, read on to learn how to create a wardrobe that is as Witchy as your soul, and venture into a life of magic of your own creation, as these powerful but graceful looks inspire you to embrace and strengthen all aspects of yourself, equally unafraid of your light and your dark

Quaint Style Guide: 5 Elements of Cozy Mori-Kei Fashion

Charming clothing that is reminiscent of quiet and content, cabin-in-the-woods life–perfect for peaceful, sweet, nostalgic, quirky, independent (and especially introverted) individuals with a love for nature, creative works, and the idealistic thought of more simple, natural and relaxed living.
If that sounds like you, read on to learn how to create a wardrobe that is as Quaint as your soul, and slip into a quiet mindset as these nostalgic and cozy looks inspire a tranquil life full of simple pleasures and independence, surrounded by nature. With this charming, warm and comfy wardrobe strongly inspired by Mori-Kei (Japanese – Translates: “Forest Style”) you may experience a sense of peace and comfort in even the most hectic of days.

Winner of #QuaintBehindTheCloth Challenge 2022

You voted for your favorite Quaint outfits…See who won!

Dead Tired

I've been chronically exhausted since i was, like, 8 years old. I don't know why, but hopefully will soon. I'm finally getting it addressed with doctors... My psychiatrist gave me a cortisol test kit to see if i have adrenal fatigue and my primary physician referred...

I Feared Waking Up

Through the entirety of almost 5 years together, every time i looked at him or heard him laugh, i felt like i was dreaming. My fear was waking up, not breaking up.

“It Isn’t Love If It’s Selfish” – An Outfit Representing Lost Love and Vulnerability

For so long, i’ve told myself: “It isn’t love if it’s selfish”.

There’s still nothing in me that has stopped believing that’s true.

Desire paired with selfishness is only possessiveness and in action, it’s only consumption.

It’s cruel and it enslaves. It suffocates. It disregards the needs, wants, and desires of another. It inflicts pain to all involved.

But what makes something selfish, anyway?
I’m not sure i actually know….. Is everything i want automatically selfish in my mind?… everything i think i can’t have?

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 5

The day didn’t start out fantastic, but…I’m going to be fair to myself, with a focus on self-care and making sure i’m comfortable–first and foremost–while still pushing myself to do all that is necessary so that i feel accomplished at the end of the day.

So i’ll start off with comfy clothes and accepting that this post is being published later than the other ones were.

Connecting With Emotion

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

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