Love is the Greatest Adventure.

Written in September 2020. Outfit worn on September 3rd, 2020.

Your Love Was My Favorite Adventure Alissa Ackerman Story Behind The Cloth fashion blog adventurous romantic outfit 1
I’ve been frustrated and extremely careful not to ask myself, “What do you want?” because the answer is always and immediately: “To go home to Cody.”

Not so much the bus (that i want to turn into a tiny house) and the adventurous life, not to travel the entire world and experience everything under the sun, not even to meet interesting people and hear their stories or to set out to change the world into something more understanding, empathetic and fair. Things i thought i wanted more than anything–things i KNOW i still do want deep down.

I remind myself of those things and my natural response to them is now: “Well, i guess that could maybe, possibly be nice…”

I’ve become largely uninterested in it all. Becuase i don’t have what i want most.
It. Sucks. It’s dumb. I wish i could change how i feel with a snap of my fingers…But that’s unreasonable.
Break ups suck.
Things i forever thought i desired, existed for, needed in order to have a life worth living… They feel minuscule and uninspiring, lacking life and warmth.
don’t get home sick…..

…Or, at least i didn’t.

This is a sickness i never could have imagined. A longing that devours all other longings.

It nauseates me, it makes me feel weak and lightheaded and unable to think straight. It hurts like nothing else.

And all it is is a desire for a return trip. Longing for an uncomfortable journey to be over.

Never once have i ever had these feelings about even the most grueling moments of an adventure.

I’ve always taken the worst as part of the beauty of the journey. I’ve always been left excited, relentless in pursuit of what’s around the bend. Forever unwilling to return to the mundane.

That no longer comes as easy. I long too restlessly for the comfort of his arms.

..To “go home to Cody”, though?… To a place that i logically know is not my home?

–but my heart keeps screaming that it is, that wherever he is, is home, and it won’t shut up.

Your Love Was My Favorite Adventure Alissa Ackerman Story Behind The Cloth fashion blog adventurous romantic outfit scaled
I don’t really have a place to call home.

Next thing i know, i’ll finally be on the road…Genuinely without a permanent, traditional home.

That used to be an idea that would excite me and send wonderful chills down my spine…

“Alissa the nomad”.

For as long as i can remember i deeply believed that was my one and only possible destiny, the only thing that could ever make me feel whole. Reckless adventures. A life full of this elusive, so-called, “meaning”. Even a life that might end in a tragic, early death–*that* somehow comforted me most of all.

I’ve realized that dreaming of adventure was the main coping mechanism i clung to using because i didn’t feel safe. The idea of throwing myself into potential danger made me feel in control.

Now it’s begun to feel like my only choice. Something almost purely practical. I want to really want it again–I’m back to needing it for a (mostly false) sense of security–but it’s hard to step away from real security after you finally had it.
Knowing Cody brought me contentment for the first time in my life and an immense feeling of safety, stability, and comfort that i never knew was possible–or desirable. He made me want to stop running away. I felt at home for the first time.
To go back to running away feels foolish.
And incredibly empty.
But what can i do?
It feels equally foolish to hope, though. To act like i have any right to try. To act like anything can or should be repaired.

Even though our problems feel so small to me…

I have to accept and move forward.

…”What do you want, Alissa?”…… That’s the question with the answers that only make me feel dejected and afraid.
But it’s not healthy to have to avoid asking myself what i hope for out of life.
I’m working to rediscover all new things to be glad to live for. It’s harder than it ought to be. I had what i didn’t know i wanted most.
I know i am capable of finding happiness, though i don’t always believe it…I just wish i could still stand close beside the person with whom i felt the happiest i’ve ever felt in my life.
There’s nothing the world could offer that i could want more.
I already found happiness, and now i grieve it.
The only adventures i truly need are the beautifully simple day-to-day ones…
In my eyes, what we had was perfect.

Exploring the depths of your personality, your mind, your heart…That was a journey in and of itself. A road that never reached an end.

Cody, your love was my favorite adventure.
Your Love Was My Favorite Adventure Alissa Ackerman Story Behind The Cloth fashion blog adventurous romantic outfit 4 scaled
Trailblazing – An Outfit Representing Paving My Own Journey

Trailblazing – An Outfit Representing Paving My Own Journey

There’s a long journey ahead, and i need to trailblaze the path myself. The paths society has paved do not suit me. Attempting to walk them is dangerous to me and full of strife. “Normalcy” may not exist for me and i don’t want to attempt to adhere to it anymore. I MUST figure out how to make life work with my own needs.
SO, i’m gonna build a “skoolie” to live in!

More Mental Health Blog Posts:

Never Have I Ever – #FashionSelfLoveParty Game – Fashion Blunders Edition

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Never Have I Ever – Fashion Blunders Edition!
We’re about to get REAL…

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

The most honest people win!
1 point for everything you HAVE done.
Share: How many points did you get?
Which one do you think is the hardest to overcome?

Another Post You Might Like:  Classy Colorful Confidence: A Style Story Interview with Shannon Holmes | + Thoughts on Building Confidence, Alabama Culture, and The Beauty of Kindness

Fashion + Self Love Party: Savvy is Classy – A Sweet Mess in a Dress

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Guest post by Deanna from Lucky.Love.Life.
I’ve never been one to believe that you have to spend a paycheck to look nice.
You don’t need an $850 dress, or pair of shoes, or handbag, to fit in or look amazing. Buy what makes you feel cute and inspired but remember your life is about experiences, not things. You need confidence, charisma, and a rockin’ smile. No matter what you are wearing, you’ll be dressed to the nines.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Fashion + Self-Love Party Recap and Game Results

Confidence and Self Love – Encouragement From Imaan at The August Clause

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Confidence is an interesting thing, isn’t it? Some seem to shine with it, and with ease. Others feel they’ll never find it. But really, all of us deal with a lack of it from time to time. It comes and goes. We can be so hard on ourselves, and that attitude of shame then easily permeates the rest of our lives. We need to learn to love ourselves. And love is a continuous action…so sometimes we have to learn again and again.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Connecting With Emotion

Cool Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

Fashion + Self Love Party: Love Your Style, Love Yourself

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Guest post by Alice from A Lot on Your Mind.
Two psychologists, Hajo and Galinksy (2012), coined the term ‘enclothed cognition’ which argues that your style reflects and affects your mood, health, and overall confidence. If our clothes affect our mood, why don’t we choose the clothes that express our best selves and will make us feel legitimately beautiful?
Here are some tips to owning your personal style:

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Fashion + Self Love Party: Love Your Style, Love Yourself

Warm Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

A lot of people envy a work-at-home life, sitting around in pajamas all day. But i can’t stand this anymore. Though i’ve always known i don’t work my best unless i get up and dressed, i’ve still gotten caught in this lazy cycle.
So, this week, i decided i’m going to get all dressed up, even though i have nowhere to go.
Maybe this will help me, maybe it won’t. Maybe it will just give me more to panic over. But i figure it couldn’t be worse than just sitting around, having given up on trying.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Kick-Ass Style Guide: 5 Strong Elements of Edgy Cyberpunk Fashion

Fashion + Self Love Party: What to Wear When Your Heart’s Been Broken

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Finding Comfort in Your Clothes After Heartbreak:
Guest post by Josie Mills from Open Mind Fashion (OMF).
I kissed a few frogs on the path to meeting my prince, my husband. And along the way, some left me green and croaking for a while. In those tough times, I would become even more aware of the textures & qualities of my clothes–my clothes became a form of solace, and dressing up would help me get through the next day even though I wanted to die.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Serenity -Outfit Styling Based on Desirable Qualities

Fashion + Self Love Party: For the Love of the Gram – A Short Guide for Increasing Self-Love Despite Social Media Influence

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Guest post by Savana from Official Savana Rae.
Instagram has so much interesting content and impressive content creators. However, the bar is set very high. When the bar is set as high as it is, growing may become an issue. It mainly drives attention to the biggest accounts–which undermines the rest no matter how good your content may be.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

I have noticed that a lot of people have been affected by this, and a big loss in confidence has increased in my fellow influencers and those who follow me.

I want to give you some self-love advice that I myself follow when I feel low, because let’s face it–we all have THOSE days.

This guide to increase self-love is one that I find incredibly useful, as my mom reminds most days that we all need to love ourselves first so that we can be at peace. Think about it this way, if you didn’t love yourself, how can you feel at peace?

Another Post You Might Like:  Whispers of Christmas - Holiday Outfit

7 Mistakes That Kill Your Outfit

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Picture yourself:
Pulling one piece of clothing out of your closet after another, glancing at each one before frustratedly throwing each one to the side with a huff of disappointment. After nearly pulling your hair out in frustration, you’ve finally settled on what to wear. You’re ready to face the world… Or are you? 

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

In this post, you will find seven things that will ruin your outfit… A forewarning that can give you direction away from what not to do.

Another Post You Might Like:  Fashion + Self-Love Party Recap and Game Results

More Fashion-Philosophy:

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 2

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Starting your day off with one little thing that oozes confidence can go a long way in positively impacting your day–i think that’s why dressing up is helping me so far…plus, by dressing up, you’re carrying that confidence right over your skin….it’s close and touchable, and therefore easier to remember. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s a little easier to feel comfortable with your mind and your soul.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  #ClothingSpeaksMe - Communicating Who You Are Through What You Wear

Vibrant Urban Poet: A Style Story Interview with Tajinder Kaur | + Punjabi Culture and Sparking Conversation Through Clothes

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

“No matter what style I choose to wear, whether it’s streetwear or a whimsical style, colour and confidence will always be present.” – Tajinder Kaur

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Tajinder is determined, talented, genuine, beautiful, and has a unique and vivid sense of style. What first brought her blog to my attention is the mix of her quirky style along with her beautifully raw poetry–It’s an example of a fashion blog that is truly a “must-read” and not just a “must-view”.

Read her Style Story to learn more about her:

Another Post You Might Like:  Classy Colorful Confidence: A Style Story Interview with Shannon Holmes | + Thoughts on Building Confidence, Alabama Culture, and The Beauty of Kindness

Neutral Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

The Strength of Accepting Weakness

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Accepting weakness begets strength.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

I am queen of my darkness, and equally queen of my light.

I can own my struggles, i can own my pains, i can own those emotions that feel so very close to death.

They are mine, but i am not theirs.

I can relax in who i am, moment to moment, and see beauty even in the dark and quiet.

Another Post You Might Like:  Whispers of Christmas - Holiday Outfit

Confidence and Self Love – Encouragement From Imaan at The August Clause

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Confidence is an interesting thing, isn’t it? Some seem to shine with it, and with ease. Others feel they’ll never find it. But really, all of us deal with a lack of it from time to time. It comes and goes. We can be so hard on ourselves, and that attitude of shame then easily permeates the rest of our lives. We need to learn to love ourselves. And love is a continuous action…so sometimes we have to learn again and again.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Joy to the World - Holiday Outfit

Fashion + Self Love Party: What to Wear When Your Heart’s Been Broken

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Finding Comfort in Your Clothes After Heartbreak:
Guest post by Josie Mills from Open Mind Fashion (OMF).
I kissed a few frogs on the path to meeting my prince, my husband. And along the way, some left me green and croaking for a while. In those tough times, I would become even more aware of the textures & qualities of my clothes–my clothes became a form of solace, and dressing up would help me get through the next day even though I wanted to die.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Whispers of Christmas - Holiday Outfit

The Story Begins – Fashion as a Form of Storytelling

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

I believe fashion is a form of storytelling…. Delving into that idea is the core purpose in starting this blog… What you wear tells people who you are and what you love–It tells a story. It’s personal and you bring it with you wherever you go. What if we could make our clothes declare, with even greater strength, the truth of who we are? What if our outfits could be a catalyst for conversations about the things we’re passionate about?
The plan is to explore the depths of these ideas….

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Happiness Is Freedom

Warm Colors – Color Psychology Questionnaire Results

The following post is part of a series on how colors affect us. Much of the information contained is thanks to my wonderful readers who took the time to think about how they feel about various colors, submitting their opinions into my questionnaire. My hope is that it...

How to Make Your Clothes Tell a Story – Fashion, Storytelling, and Symbolism

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

How can you tell a story through your clothes? What we wear hints at who we are. It’s a powerful experience when we wear clothes that tell a story. Unfortunately, the meaning isn’t always clear to all who see your outfit–Often times leading to misconceptions based off of stereotypes. But using symbolism is a good start to bring more clarity.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Fashion + Self Love Party: Love Your Style, Love Yourself

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 7

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

I challenged myself at the beginning of this week to stop being lazy about my outfits just because i have nowhere to go, and instead start getting dressed up in clothes that make me feel good about myself that day.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

I was surprised just how much more empowered i’ve been feeling with this simple task. By putting on clothes i love, and doing so for no apparent reason besides deciding i want to, i’ve also been putting on confidence.

What do you think? Will you try getting #AllDressedUp this week and see what it does for you?

Another Post You Might Like:  Connecting With Emotion

Styles You’ll Enjoy If You Liked This Outfit:

A Simple Guide to Creating Your Quaint Style | Cozy Mori-Kei Fashion Tips and Inspiration

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Charming clothing that is reminiscent of quiet and content, cabin-in-the-woods life–perfect for peaceful, sweet, nostalgic, quirky, independent (and especially introverted) individuals with a love for nature, creative works, and the idealistic thought of more simple, natural and relaxed living.
If that sounds like you, read on to learn how to create a wardrobe that is as Quaint as your soul, and slip into a quiet mindset as these nostalgic and cozy looks inspire a tranquil life full of simple pleasures and independence, surrounded by nature. With this charming, warm and comfy wardrobe strongly inspired by Mori-Kei (Japanese – Translates: “Forest Style”) you may experience a sense of peace and comfort in even the most hectic of days.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Happiness Is Freedom

Connecting With Emotion

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Classy Colorful Confidence: A Style Story Interview with Shannon Holmes | + Thoughts on Building Confidence, Alabama Culture, and The Beauty of Kindness

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 5

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

The day didn’t start out fantastic, but…I’m going to be fair to myself, with a focus on self-care and making sure i’m comfortable–first and foremost–while still pushing myself to do all that is necessary so that i feel accomplished at the end of the day.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

So i’ll start off with comfy clothes and accepting that this post is being published later than the other ones were.

Another Post You Might Like:  How to Dress Like Ariel

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 4

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Oops. Two days in a row the title is not true. My family is going out this afternoon to see a play, and i decided to go with them. Funny how the week i decide to dress up despite having nowhere to go, i actually have places to go, huh?

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Connecting With Emotion

Where is Far, Far Away and How Do i Get There? | Peaceful and Adventurous OotD

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

“Where is far, far away and how do I get there?” Adventure fuels my soul, but i’ve felt incredibly stuck. I MUST maintain inner peace as the first step in any new adventure. This peaceful and adventurous outfit embodies these things.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Color Psychology Questionnaire

The Strength of Accepting Weakness

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Accepting weakness begets strength.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

I am queen of my darkness, and equally queen of my light.

I can own my struggles, i can own my pains, i can own those emotions that feel so very close to death.

They are mine, but i am not theirs.

I can relax in who i am, moment to moment, and see beauty even in the dark and quiet.

Another Post You Might Like:  #ClothingSpeaksMe - Communicating Who You Are Through What You Wear

Pages – An Outfit Representing a New Chapter of Life

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Life is a story… That we get to take part in both reading and writing!
We get to create who we want to be.
We get to watch life unfold.
Let’s enjoy every page!
What do you hope to “write” in this next chapter of your life?

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  I Feared Waking Up

Your Love Was My Favorite Adventure

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

I don’t really have a place to call
“home”. That used to be an idea that would excite me and send wonderful
chills down my spine… “Alissa the nomad”. For as long as i can remember
i deeply believed that was my
one and only possible destiny;
the only thing that could ever
make me feel whole.
Now all i want is to go home.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go - Day 7

Trailblazing – An Outfit Representing Paving My Own Journey

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

There’s a long journey ahead, and i need to trailblaze the path myself. The paths society has paved do not suit me. Attempting to walk them is dangerous to me and full of strife. “Normalcy” may not exist for me and i don’t want to attempt to adhere to it anymore. I MUST figure out how to make life work with my own needs.
SO, i’m gonna build a “skoolie” to live in!

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  I Feared Waking Up

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 2

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Starting your day off with one little thing that oozes confidence can go a long way in positively impacting your day–i think that’s why dressing up is helping me so far…plus, by dressing up, you’re carrying that confidence right over your skin….it’s close and touchable, and therefore easier to remember. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s a little easier to feel comfortable with your mind and your soul.

THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HELPS KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING:

Another Post You Might Like:  Joy to the World - Holiday Outfit
10 Steps to Declutter Your Closet for a Wardrobe You Love
Another Post You Might Like:  Recommended Blog: 3 Ways To Challenge & Overcome Body Image Issues

Pin It on Pinterest

Shares
Share This