Attitude and Artistry:
“I think the most iconic thing [about my style] is my attitude. I grew up in a culture where women are expected to wear certain things and expected to behave in certain ways … The more I found myself internally, the more it is reflected to the outside world. I’m confident, outgoing, friendly, and open minded and when it comes to my style I feel like I project the same characteristics.” – Kader Dayan
View this post on Instagram
The color pink makes everything look pretty 🎀 This look using only NYX COSMETICS @nyxcosmetics Ultimate Eyeshadow Palette Crystal Pink Glitter liner (to brighten up the inner part of my lids) Gel Liner Can't stop won't stop foundation and concealer Highlight and contour pro palette Chic Appeal lip lacquer
View this post on Instagram
This picture was taken last year around this time. I just realized how much I've changed emotionally. A lot can change in a year. Changes can be good or bad. However, staying positive at all times is the key. I've been practicing positive affirmations daily for the most part and it helped my mental health so much! Everything is aligning, things are getting better, positive changes are happening as long as you're ready to receive 💕🌸✨😇
Something she loves about her culture is that “Everyone cares for each other. There’s no way you would be forgotten even in a very crowded family. There’s so much controlling but deep down i know it’s because there is so much love and care. However, we just don’t know how to respect one another when it comes living life differently.”
She expressed disdain in explaining her clothing choices, saying people “don’t need to ‘understand’ to stop feeling judgmental. Why not just accept whatever that you see instead of trying to modify or create meanings to understand it.”
Full Interview Transcript:
Alissa: If you had to describe your style in one word, what would it be? – Why? Kader: It’s hard for me to choose just one word but I would probably pick “mix”. I think I can be really classy, sexy, street, casual depending on my mood. Alissa: What matters most when you’re choosing what to wear? Kader: Where I’m going matters when I pick my outfits. However, depending on my mood I can dress completely different to the same event. Alissa: What kinds of clothes do you feel most comfortable in? Kader: I like when clothes hug my figure. I like looking and feeling glam and sexy. I love wearing dresses. But there are times I enjoy being in sweatpants. I am not a fan of jeans. I also love to wear different colors. Colors make me happy. I enjoy combining different colors on my outfits. Alissa: What are you wearing right now? Kader: I’m wearing a high waisted satin black joggers which fits tight and pink leopard print open back crop top. I paired it with black heeled sandals and a silver clutch. I’m also wearing silver dangling earrings. Alissa: If you had to describe this outfit in one word, what would it be? Kader: Chic. I think this outfit is sexy but not too much also glam but comfy. Alissa: What’s your favorite part of this outfit? Kader: First, the color because I love pink. Second the fitting. I love how the satin jogger hugs my curves and snatches my waist. Alissa: How did you feel when you got up and put on this outfit? Kader: This is my second outfit of the day. I feel great in both outfits. If I don’t feel good in an outfit I’m not wearing it. It’s very important for me to feel good in an outfit. Alissa: What motivated you to wear it? Kader: I’m going out with friends tonight so I had to change what I had on earlier. Alissa: When you look at the color/s you are wearing, what does it make you think of? Kader: Hot pink leopard crop top is giving me life right now. It looks young, wild, and fun but then my black satin joggers balance out the whole outfit. Also my silver bag and earrings add a nice touch as well. Alissa: When you look at the print/pattern you are wearing, what does it make you think of? Kader: Leopard and snake print are very trendy this year. I feel trendy, fun, and risky since hot pink leopard print is not very the norm. Alissa: Does this outfit differ much from the other outfits you wear? Kader: Yes, I would usually wear a dress when I go out but I wanted to switch it up and wear pants this time. However, I think my style can be edgy and glam at the same time so this is just one of those moments. Alissa: What colors do you gravitate most towards wearing? – What are your “happy colors”? Kader: Pink. Pink. Pink. I love pink. Seeing pink or any pinkish color makes me happy. I love wearing colors in general but pink is definitely my fave. I also love neutrals too. Neutral colors feels so grown, sexy, glam. Alissa: What colors do you avoid? Kader: For the longest, I refused to wear red. I have no idea why. I hated the color and I thought it looked awful on me. I started loving it more and more as I get older. Honestly, I don’t have any problem with any color. I love all the colors. As long as they go with my vision I would wear them. Alissa: What kind of fashion item would you consider to be a “must have”? Kader: It depends on your lifestyle but, personally, a pair of heels is very important to have. A pair that you can wear with many outfits and on different events. A nice bag is very important as well. If you’re not into colors, you can always spice it up with accessories and adding color to your outfit with your bag would be very chic. Alissa: Do you have any patterns or symbols that you especially love adding to your style? Kader: I loved adding accessories to my outfits. And recently I’m in love with leopard and snakeskin prints. Alissa: What do you think is most iconic about your style? Kader: I think the most iconic thing is my attitude. I grew up in a culture where women are expected to wear certain things and expected to behave in certain ways. When I finally found myself and my own style my attitude change as well. I don’t care what people think about what I wear or how I look. Especially women, across the globe, are judged all the time for the amount of skin they show or how they carry themselves. I want to say f*** all the stereotypes. What you choose to wear is called fashion but how you carry it is called style. I encourage everyone to find their own style and be unique.
- Alissa: Can you describe the cultural expectations you faced growing up?
- Kader: Women are expected to be in a certain way in very culture. Yes depending on the culture expectations can get worse or better or any expectation women face is very unfortunate. In my case, women were expected to wear more conservative clothes. People would look at you differently if you show “too much” skin. I really don’t know what “too much” stands for however all I know is people get intimidated by confident women. So I was expected to wear conservative clothes at all times.
- Alissa: When did you decide to say “f*** it” to all the stereotypes? What was this journey like, how did people react, and how did you feel in the process? Was it difficult at first to not care what others think?
- Kader: I decided to say f*** it when I realized that this is not who I am. I like to wear mini dresses, crop tops, skirts, etc. I felt good in clothes that I choose to wear. Dressing up got more and more exciting for me the more I got to wear what I wanted. People always have so much say whether you do something good or bad so why not do what you want.
- Alissa: What’s the most memorable experience you’ve had or lesson you’ve learned in rediscovering yourself?
- Kader: The most important lesson I’ve learned is you cannot please everyone so you should not rely on anyone’s approval to be happy. Happiness and unconditional love are key to life. No matter what, be happy and have unconditional love for everyone. I think people judge one another because they lack unconditional love. When you feel unconditional love for people, you never even think about judging anyone.
- Alissa: What are your favorite memories or things about your parents that come to mind when you think of them?
- Kader: My parents are very old school but they try to understand the modern world as much as they could. I love my parents very much and am so grateful for all they’ve done for me.
- Alissa: What are some things your parents passed on to you that have helped you in your journey of expressing your best and truest self?
- Kader: I can be different, but I should never forget who I am and where I come from. A person who forgets where they come from can never go far in life. These are some of the sayings that they would repeat all the time. I also think it is very important to never forget your journey. What you’ve gone through this far is all because of a purpose you have and once you forget that you will lose your purpose. Never forget why you started it and all the ups and downs.
- Alissa: After you freed yourself from the cultural expectations that you felt were holding you back, what kinds of things were you hoping to visually speak about yourself through your clothes?
- Kader: I hoped to see that we all can be different and still share the same culture/religion/traditions. We don’t have to wear, talk, walk, listen to the same music, enjoy the same food to share the same culture. I can wear a mini dress and enjoy Chinese food but I’m still from the same culture as the people who try to judge me because I can enjoy other culture’s goods.
- Alissa: I’m curious: Where do you think judgment comes from? Or what do you think causes people to become judgmental?
- Kader: I definitely think judgement comes from lack of love. If one has unconditional love, they would never think about judging a person because they would have love for everyone no matter what people do differently. I believe unconditional love is a natural state for our souls but our ego blinds us to the point where we cannot feel unconditional love anymore. I’m not saying to agree with everyone’s opinions rather I’m saying that have pure intentions for everyone. When you have that, no one’s differences would bother you to the point where judgmental thoughts appear.
Kader: Every culture comes with modesty. Some cultures came along way and have different understanding of modesty and some cultures have very strict rules and path that they force you to follow.