About The Girl Behind “Story Behind The Cloth”:

Hello! My name is Alissa Ackerman.

Some people call me Ashley–because that’s my middle name and they get confused by all the “A”s.

Alissa. Ashley. Ackerman. Aa A Aa…
…1, 2, 3, 4, 5 A’s–*phew*…

Also, yes, if you were wondering, all those A’s put a lot of pressure on me as a kid to do well in school
–despite being homeschooled and not graded!–
I felt it couldn’t be in my nature to get just A’s…They had to be A++++’s (You know, one A for each A in my name…).
Talk about perfectionism? A bit of a nightmare, i’ll confess, with a lot of self-doubts.

–Silliness aside–
I grew up with a love for learning, creativity, and exploration side by side.
Sketching people and “fashion collections” from a young age,
going on road trips and serendipitous adventures,
studying overtime and self-directing my education in my teen years (my greatest pride as well as insecurity)…
Often combining multiple creative projects with my studies to double the fun.

That leads me here to Story Behind The Cloth.
A Blog i built in 2015 during college as both an outlet for creativity
and for exploration of philosophy, psychology, and humanity through fashion.

It’s been an imperfect journey, but here we are!

Enjoy reading some of my journey backwards, via the following blog posts! 😛

Trailblazing – An Outfit Representing Paving My Own Journey

Trailblazing – An Outfit Representing Paving My Own Journey

There’s a long journey ahead, and i need to trailblaze the path myself. The paths society has paved do not suit me. Attempting to walk them is dangerous to me and full of strife. “Normalcy” may not exist for me and i don’t want to attempt to adhere to it anymore. I MUST figure out how to make life work with my own needs.
SO, i’m gonna build a “skoolie” to live in!

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Your Love Was My Favorite Adventure

Your Love Was My Favorite Adventure

I don’t really have a place to call
“home”. That used to be an idea that would excite me and send wonderful
chills down my spine… “Alissa the nomad”. For as long as i can remember
i deeply believed that was my
one and only possible destiny;
the only thing that could ever
make me feel whole.
Now all i want is to go home.

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I find my time getting dressed to be very therapeutic. Especially as somebody with wacky mental health! I have depression, anxiety, bipolar, ADHD, and PTSD–managing my wellbeing is a balancing act! There are many different parts to my journey towards wellness–Spending time exploring my personal style is one small but extremely impactful component. Getting dressed up gives me time and creative opportunity to slow down and remember the person whom i want to be.

I Feared Waking Up

I Feared Waking Up

Through the entirety of almost 5 years together, every time i looked at him or heard him laugh, i felt like i was dreaming. My fear was waking up, not breaking up.

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Dead Tired

Dead Tired

I've been chronically exhausted since i was, like, 8 years old. I don't know why, but hopefully will soon. I'm finally getting it addressed with doctors... My psychiatrist gave me a cortisol test kit to see if i have adrenal fatigue and my primary physician referred...

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The Strength of Accepting Weakness

The Strength of Accepting Weakness

Accepting weakness begets strength.

I am queen of my darkness, and equally queen of my light.

I can own my struggles, i can own my pains, i can own those emotions that feel so very close to death.

They are mine, but i am not theirs.

I can relax in who i am, moment to moment, and see beauty even in the dark and quiet.

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I love juxtaposition, duality, contrast, dialecticality… No person or thing on earth is just one thing…And we even, often, “contradict” ourselves… Our quirks are what make us beautiful and unique. And i think the most beautifully interesting styles are the quirky, juxtaposed, “contradictary” ones, too, because they embrace the weirdness of individuality.

Connecting With Emotion

Connecting With Emotion

Spending some extra time deciding on my outfits is my favorite way to recognize my emotions and prioritize my mental health.
Artistic expression has always allowed me an avenue to slow down, explore, and find beauty in the things i feel.
Sometimes connecting with my emotions feels like pure magic… I find power in being in sync with how i feel and accepting myself as i am.

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Das Energi 2019 – Festival Fashion Inspiration + Thoughts on the Future and Optimism

Das Energi 2019 – Festival Fashion Inspiration + Thoughts on the Future and Optimism

Deep down, when choosing what to wear for a rave, we tend to embrace an ideal future persona. Our clothes reflect the future we hope for, and the “future” we feel we get to live out during our time raving.
The future i embrace is one of both technological advancements, exploration, and curiosity; and of peace, love, understanding … Hence: Space Hippie. Click to see the outfit i wore to Das Energi 2019.

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I am a wild but docile, perfectly imperfect walking “contraction”.

I am idealistic and cynical, bubbly and introverted, emotional and stoic, strong and delicate, blissful and melancholic, adventurous and cozy, hopeful and jaded, friendly and skeptical, open-minded and decisive, curious and complacent, optimistic and unsure, lovelorn and independent, peaceful and chaotic, opportunistic and cautious, dutiful and rebellious, silly and serious, quiet and talkative, playful and responsible, organized and scatterbrained, sentimental and forgetful, intelligent and hungry for knowledge, humble and proud…

I love all things creative
–whether i’m part of the creative process myself,
or just watching in admiration of the creativity of another.

My favorite form of creativity is personal style.

Why?:

• It’s intimate and personal,
• It’s accessible and everybody participates in it to some extent, 
• It’s with you wherever you go, 
• It builds confidence, 
• The options are nearly endless for expressing yourself
your way if you open yourself up to explore, 
• With each passing year, we get more ideas to work with
as designers play with new silhouettes and create new fabrics.

Joy to the World – Holiday Outfit

Joy to the World – Holiday Outfit

This holiday outfit represents pure Christmas cheer.
I pulled together thoughts of Santa and his Elves for inspiration. A charm bracelet adds the finishing touch with words from a classic favorite Christmas song: “Joy to the World”.

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Happiness Is Freedom

Happiness Is Freedom

I do not believe that false “joy” and stagnant “hope” are the answer…But i do believe that happiness can be discovered in little things when you feel like it’s nowhere to be found. When we’re able to find true happiness, we gain power to free ourselves, both on an emotional level and in a way that allows us to more easily work towards our goals, which will set us free on a more tangible level.

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I use fashion as a tool for exploration and therapy every day.
Getting dressed each day helps me check in with how i’m feeling
and set goals and intentions for the day ahead.

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 7

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 7

I challenged myself at the beginning of this week to stop being lazy about my outfits just because i have nowhere to go, and instead start getting dressed up in clothes that make me feel good about myself that day.

I was surprised just how much more empowered i’ve been feeling with this simple task. By putting on clothes i love, and doing so for no apparent reason besides deciding i want to, i’ve also been putting on confidence.

What do you think? Will you try getting #AllDressedUp this week and see what it does for you?

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Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 6

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 6

I’m surprised at just how much more capable i feel as a blogger. I took a chance with this series, hoping it would lift my spirits some… And it did. I don’t feel incapable and stuck as i did back on day 1. I’m excited about the future of this blog!

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Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 5

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 5

The day didn’t start out fantastic, but…I’m going to be fair to myself, with a focus on self-care and making sure i’m comfortable–first and foremost–while still pushing myself to do all that is necessary so that i feel accomplished at the end of the day.

So i’ll start off with comfy clothes and accepting that this post is being published later than the other ones were.

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I enjoy exploring personal style in light of life stories–Our clothes are capable of speaking something deep about who we are if we allow them.

My passion is seeing people honestly, genuinely and fearlessly express themselves, and fashion is a beautiful and comfortable step in the journey of self-discovery and expression.

My desire is to help you discover the styles and pieces that best express who you are, and why that is, and give you the confidence to own that.

I’ll also mention: i don’t capitalize “i”, except for emphasis, as a statement of equality–i’m no greater than you, him, her or them…so why should i capitalize “I” and not “You”?

I’m excited for you to join me in a journey of self-discovery as we uncover why we dress the ways we do, and how we can confidently express who we are!

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 4

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 4

Oops. Two days in a row the title is not true. My family is going out this afternoon to see a play, and i decided to go with them. Funny how the week i decide to dress up despite having nowhere to go, i actually have places to go, huh?

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Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 3

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 3

As you know, if you’ve been reading my previous posts: i’ve been dressing up every day this week, despite being home all the time, in an effort to keep me from getting depressed.

Today is actually the “weekend” for me and my boyfriend, Cody… And we might want to enjoy some time away from the house. So, i might be dressing up with somewhere to go afterall!

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Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 2

Dressing Up With Nowhere to Go – Day 2

Starting your day off with one little thing that oozes confidence can go a long way in positively impacting your day–i think that’s why dressing up is helping me so far…plus, by dressing up, you’re carrying that confidence right over your skin….it’s close and touchable, and therefore easier to remember. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s a little easier to feel comfortable with your mind and your soul.

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My other interests include (but are not limited to):

Dancing (modern, ballet, salsa and ballroom, jazz, hip hop), deep conversations with fascinating people, organizing (I know..weird interest!), music, hiking and being outside in nature, photography, anthropology and culture, movies, design, fictional (especially screenplay) writing, sketching, history, singing (if nobody hears me, heheh…), painting, travel, creative cooking, scrapbooking, long meditative drives/car rides, roleplay video games, puzzle and strategy or mystery games, and politics (i’m a left-leaning independant, if you were wondering–I value all opinions, though, because we all have reasons for arriving at them and i strongly believe that nobody is perfectly correct, anyway, including myself–we’re always learning and growing).

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